Thursday, June 24, 2010

Anaconda Tales

I can’t remember much of the details about the first Anaconda movie [released in 1997. I do remember I was in high school, Jennifer Lopez was the “hot girl on the block” and most of us in school had this morbid fascination for animals, snakes and such.[after boys and pimples…teenagers]

I had the misfortune of watching Anaconda III on cable 2 nights ago. Nothing beats being mad[ Nigeria has been kicked outta the World Cup!] and watching a stupid movie. It’s like rubbing salt into a wound.
By the time I stared into the yellowish orbs of that black, iridescent, 100ft snake with rows of razor sharp teeth [which any shark would kill for]; I had to research anacondas. See what I came up with -

Anacondas are large, non-venomous boas of the genus Eunectes.
Anacondas live in swamps, marshes, and slow-moving streams, mainly in the tropical rain forests of the Amazon and Orinoco basins. They are cumbersome on land, but stealthy and sleek in the water.
 Green anacondas on average are about 17ft long, but can grow to more than 29 feet (if you re 6 ft tall, 5 times that/8.8 meters), weigh more than 550 pounds (227 kilograms), and measure more than 12 inches (30 centimeters) in diameter. Females are significantly larger than males. 
Other anaconda species, all from South America and all smaller than the green anaconda, are the yellow, dark-spotted, and Bolivian varieties.
All three species are aquatic snakes that prey on other aquatic animals, including fish, river fowl, caiman and capybaras. Some accounts exist of anacondas preying on domestic animals such as goats and ponies that venture too close to the water.
 Prey is killed by a process known as constriction; after an animal has been grasped to restrain it, a number of coils are hastily wrapped around it. Then, by applying and maintaining sufficient pressure to prevent it from inhaling, the prey eventually succumbs due to asphyxiation
While encounters between people and anacondas may be dangerous, they do not regularly hunt humans and are in fact known to be shy. Nevertheless, threat from anacondas is a familiar trope in comics, movies and adventure stories set in the Amazon jungle. [You can say that again!]
 In conclusion methinks the Anaconda movie writers: Hans Bauer Jim Cash Jack Epps Jnr. must have flunked Biology in school. Next!

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