Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Men You Should Never Marry

I came across a review about a book written by an 81 yr old Priest, Father Pat Whom Not to Marry: Time-Tested Advice From a Higher Authority. He is soo on point on several issues. These are signs that stare women in the office but they just refuse to acknowledge it.

What do celibate Priests know about relationships you'd ask? A lot when you think of a typical priest who has presided over a minimum of 10 parishes in his lifetime, and a minimum of 1000 people per parish who have made him their de facto counselor, confessor, arbitrator and what not.  You would agree that he is an authority. Higher certainly than John Gray of ‘Men are from Mars’ fame.
He answers questions such as: "Is money really important in a marriage?" "Yes. Yes. Yes, to that one," he says. 
[Me too. I believe in the security that money gives. Blame my middle class upbringing so I can be particular about attitudes towards spending money; saving money.].

Top on his list of unmarriageable men is, "A man who cannot hold down a job." [yep. If he can’t commit to the ups and downs of a job how can he commit to marriage?]

"Never marry a man who has no friends." [This does have its negative sides. But I would prefer to substitute it with ‘Never marry a man who has no passion’. Be it photography, Games, Sports, Reading, Movies etc A man with a passion has a life other than you which i think is good in a marriage.
“Don’t marry a man you feel no physical attraction for" [err  this is MAJOR! Money can never buy chemistry. Well maybe initially when the gold is glittering and beckoning].

"Never marry a man who is more affectionate in public than in private. [Now I have to get that book cause I need to understand this. No PDA? I do note that wife beaters are notorious for doing this. All lovey dokey in public then uppercuts in the bedroom].

Never marry a man who notices all of your faults but never any of his own. [One should definitely  run from this nag!]

Never marry a man whose first wife had to sue for child support. [true true but errrr next... I aint taking 2nd dibs yet]

Never marry a man whom your children don't like." [But kids are notorious for NOT wanting to share or replace their absent/divorced/dead parent. Is that fair on the parent affected?]

Take a year between the decision to marry and the wedding. "Use the engagement as a time to ask questions," such as, "What would I be glad to know about him that's impossible to know in the first few months of dating?" [not always. Not when it took him 3yrs to propose. Just drag him off to the wedding registry and get over it already]

"How about my fiance who loves to buy expensive clothes, then go to pricey restaurants to show them off?," a lady asks Father Pat. "I prefer eating at home and wearing my comfortable clothes. How can I change him to like the simpler life?" 
"Change him? Forget it! He's a bad risk for marriage. I'm afraid it's just that simple," Father Pat told her.

But these rules just make me wonder, how did our parents or couples whose marriages were arranged do it?. 
Isn't it just best to leap in and hope for the best? All this book writing, advice columns sef, and yet the divorce rate keeps climbing; What is wrong with our generation?

4 comments:

  1. Hmmn..na wah... I don;t work with rules...personally

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  2. Harry the Poet!!!
    I agree with you. But I prefer to think of them as... guiding lights?

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  3. Ginger Ginger, you are a riot. I was cracking up at your comments on my blogspot.
    But my sister, I am feeling these tips and I totally co-sign on a lot of them. Na truth wey the guy dey tok.
    Sometimes I feel like our parent's generation was less complicated, plus they had to learn to love each other by force. With us, it's soo much dos and don't, rules and regs. e dey weak pesin o!

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  4. Marriage in our parents' generation was not as intimate as it is now. Marriage then was more about status than love. Thats why I never saw my parents kiss once and I don't think they kissed indoors either. It wasn't a done thing. Now we are more cautious thats why we have a lot of unmarried men and women.

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