Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Chaz B of Inspiration Fm 92.3 and Caller X

I hitched a ride home with dear gf PeeJay yester-evening. As we caught up on gossip she asked her hubby to tune into Inspiration FM 92.3, a popular local radio station. Aside she told me they had a new programme called ‘Sharing Life Issues’ wherein callers unburdened their guilt and secrets. A sort of public confession without the benefit of absolution. We wondered at people's audacity in revealing secrets to the public. Albeit anonymously. ‘Isn't there a risk of somebody out there recognizing your voice? Your Wife, Husband, Lover, Sibling, Friend?

I digress. So we listened on expectantly. The first call came in; coincidentally that was also the only confession for the day. This transcript is not exact. But it captures the main gist.
Caller X - Hello.
Chaz B -  Hi Caller X. What do you have to tell us?.
And she goes- I am a tall, fair, pretty lady. When people see me, they think oh what a pretty girl. Everything is okay for her. But they don’t know I'm HIV positive.
Chaz B- Oh that’s so sad. But you know there's nothing God can’t do right.
Caller X goes like huh huh
Chaz B - Do you really doubt that AIDS is incurable? People have been healed of cancer etc etc. Don’t you believe you can be healed?
Caller X – mumbles I don’t know. I’m not sure.
Presenter continues the umbrage trying to convert her into believing in healing
Then Caller X says - I just had unprotected sex with a married man.
Chaz B – What? You just had unprotected sex with a married man? Why? Do you know you have committed a crime? How could you? That was wicked. Didn’t you think of his innocent family blah blah
And Caller X goes- All I know is men are going to pay for what happened to me after all they are the cause.
Chaz B - Why would you say that?
Caller X - I was raped by two men. One of them had it and has now infected me.
Chaz B - Two wrongs don’t make a right, Caller X. Do you know in some Countries you'll be facing jail time?
Caller X - Why should I be the one facing jail time when my rapists who happen to be upstanding members of society, known to my family in fact my uncle and his friend, and you dare to tell me I am to go to jail? How could you? What about me? What about what I have gone through?.......
Presenter was clueless to this girl's pain and waxed on sanctimonious. Caller X was getting hysterical. Chaz B then asked her if she could call him back after the show. She didn’t answer and she cut the call.
My mouth was agape. For me this Presenter Chaz B had failed on all fronts. Victim blaming, Slut shaming, judgmental, stigmatization. I don’t doubt that if Caller X had said she was raped at a party he would have started preaching to her about why night parties are evil.

What is wrong Inspiration FM? Let me tell you. If you want to have this kind of show, do invest in someone with some training or professional experience in counseling. Someone who can handle troubled callers with the delicacy and kindness they deserve. What she did was wrong and I'm almost sure it was remorse for her action that inspired this call. Caller X needed empathy. There was a past she needed to deal with. She needed to be asked if she was on ART (Anti Retroviral Therapy). She needed to be told that there was life beyond AIDS and Rape. She needed to be directed to a Nonprofit which specializes in rape or Domestic Violence; maybe her rapists could still be brought to book. She needed to know that having unprotected status with men whose status she doesn’t know can lead to a re-infection with a different HIV strain which will upset her therapy and cause resistance. She needed to be gently asked, cajoled to inform the man she slept with to go and receive Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). What she didnt need was to be told by Chaz B that SHE WAS A CRIMINAL WHO DESERVED JAIL.
Sadly other callers called in some telling Chaz B he didn’t handle the call right but HE INSISTED he was doing the public a service and would do it the same way all over again.
Shame on you Chaz B. Think of all the other men and women out there who would never tell anyone about their status or what they have done wrong. And the cycle of stigmatization and revenge continues.
Why no-one remembered to talk about the husband who was foolishly endangering his wife by having sex without condoms I don’t know. 
Anyway this post is about Beautiful Caller X.  
Caller X, If you ever come across this post just know me and my friends do not judge you. Even if your body harbors HIV, your Soul harbors someone purer, someone nurturing, someone kinder, someone stronger than the sum total of her past. You go girl!

15 comments:

  1. Dear God, that poor girl. Yes, I agree that having unprotected sex with a married man is a bad thing. Having sex with a married man is not the smartest thing for an unmarried woman. But it's his responsibility to protect his wife too. Let him put on the condom! I feel bad for her and she's blaming herself for what happened to her. Thank God there are treatments for AIDS now and they are successful. It's not the death sentence it used to be. But this girl is pretty close to blameless in my book. Poor dear.

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  2. I think she's blameless too and needs help.
    The presenter calling her a crminal is not help. This is one of the times I wished I lived in the States :-). Feminists would have had his head!

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  3. I really do not know what to say,l listened to teh programme precisely 6th September 2010 7pm-8pm,it was disheartening,although Chaz B later apologized and l learnt the lady called him after the show and they are talking. Please let us all forgive and look for a way to help the lady. Thank you all

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  4. Ginger,its so funny you are trying to be popular by bringing some other person down,i listened to that show too and always listen,that was just one caller out of thousands that have called since the birth of sharing life issues and i dont think its fair that you judge the presenter based on this one call,fine he said the wrong thing so what?Whats the biggie that warrants this public humiliation of somebody you dont even know from Adam?Have never spoken out of turn before?Can you beat your chest and say if it was you were the presenter you would have done it better?Talk is cheap my dear and its easy to point fingers.
    I listen to that caller and i can confidently tell you that that lady didnt get the HIV from the people that raped her and i am not saying that beign raped is a good thing but her story is not credible,she said she was raped when she was 14 and now shes 31,thats 17yrs in between,and we all know that there was nothn like ART 17 years ago,and if shes had it since 17yrs ago,she would be dead by now.She got the HIV later on in her life and shes trying to pin it on the rape and spreading it to other people and thats not fair and Chaz was right its a criminal offence in other countries infact someone just got arrested in germany for the same thing.
    so abeg lets stop crucifyinng Chaz,he has handled a lot of calls beautifully and while not saying that the caller doesnt neeed help,some people just need to be told the harsh truth.For all we know what Chaz told her might have gotten through to her somehow and shes having a rethink.
    SHARING LIFE ISSUES is a wonderful show and its touching and blessing lives far and wide.LONG LIVE SHARING LIFE ISSUES AND LONG LIVE CHAZ B.

    NB-Lets get our facts right before we start throwing stones.

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  5. Hi Anonymous. Thank you for writing in. My intention was not to 'humiliate' ChazB. Imagine listening to a program for the first time and hearing a Caller being unfairly treated, over a cause close to your heart?.
    If you all say he apologised then that is VERY GOOD. Thats what he should have done from the get go. If he done that after the second caller told him he handled it wrong, I would never have felt upset enough to write a post about the humiliation of Caller X.
    And please no more judgements of Caller X. at least not on my blog/space.I wrote this post for her. Not for Chaz.

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  6. Ginger, I really have to agree with you, here. We have a "Shock Jock" named Dr. Laura here. I've heard her verbally abuse people who are calling her for real help. We have a number of radio shows who thrive on controversy and being rude and insulting to the callers.

    I think someone should have tried to help the girl, not point a finger at her.

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  7. Uh Uh! Dr Laura of the N-word. That was Shock Jock gone amok!
    I think Caller X will be alright. Calling in and talking was very brave and a step in the right direction. I pray she's empowered to seek counseling.

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  8. A little update. It was interesting to find out that the 28 yr old German singer Nadja Benaissa who has made knowingly having unprotected sexual intercourse if you are HIV positive a convictable offence was first tested positive at 14yrs of age. 14 yrs in between!

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  9. CAN WE MOVE ON ALREADY?THIS HAPPENED LIKE A WEEK AGO DIDNT IT?CHAZ HAS APOLOGISED AND THE LADY HAS CALLED HIM SO WHAT THE FUSS?IF YOU WANNA FORGIVE HIM,FINE!IF YOU DONT WANNA,THEN THATS YOUR CUP OF TEA.ALL THIS GOING BACK AND FORTH COS YOU WANNA MAKE A POINT IS IRRELEVANT,ITS NOT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE THE SAME AT ONE TIME IN YOUR LIFE,THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS YOU ARE NOT ON AIR,LETS STOP THIS HOLIER THAN THOU ATTITUDE WE LIKE TO PUT ON WHEN SOMEONE MAKES A MISTAKE.THE GLOBE HASNT STOPPED TURNING SINCE THEN OR HAS IT?ABEG LETS GIVE THE GUY A BREAK.

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  10. ChazB should have recommended counseling for that young lady. She is probably acting out of pain without thinking of the consequences of her actions. She is not thinking of the family of the married man...yes having unprotected sex is wrong...the married man having an affair is wrong. This should be a lesson to us all. We need to stay safe.

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  11. ....well expressed. Too often, 'we' seem to godify tv/radio presenters to always have the right answers. However, these presenters' views are often flawed......

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  12. ITS EASY TO POINT FINGERS AT PPLE WEN ITS NOT U. I THINK CHAZ IS DOING GREAT ON THAT SHOW AND HAS TOUCHED A WHOLE LOT OF PPLE INCUDING ME.YES HE MAY HAVE SAID THE WRONG THING TO THE GIRL BUT AT LEAST HE WENT BACK TO APOLOGIZE AND IM SURE AFTER THE APOLOGY THEY GOT TALKING AND THE GIRL WAS GIVEN COUNSEL.PLZ NO ONE IS PERFECT WE CAN ALL MAKE AN ERROR "MISS GINGER"SO WATCH YOUR MOUTH AND DONT BE SO JUDGEMENTAL

    ReplyDelete
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