I hitched a ride home with dear gf PeeJay yester-evening. As we caught up on gossip she asked her hubby to tune into Inspiration FM 92.3, a popular local radio station. Aside she told me they had a new programme called ‘Sharing Life Issues’ wherein callers unburdened their guilt and secrets. A sort of public confession without the benefit of absolution. We wondered at people's audacity in revealing secrets to the public. Albeit anonymously. ‘Isnt there a risk of somebody out there recognizing your voice? Your Wife, Husband, Lover, Sibling, Friend?
I digress so we listened on expectantly. The first call came in. coincidentally that was also the only confession for the day. This transcript is not exact. But it captures the main gist.
Caller X - Hello.
Chaz B - Hi Caller X. What do you have to tell us?.
And she goes- I am a tall, fair, pretty lady. When people see me, they think oh what a pretty girl. Everything is okay for her. But they don’t know I'm HIV positive.
Chaz B- Oh that’s so sad. But you know there's nothing God can’t do right.
Caller X goes like huh huh
Chaz B - Do you really doubt that AIDS is incurable? People have been healed of cancer etc etc. Don’t you believe you can be healed?
Caller X – mumbles I don’t know. I’m not sure.
Presenter continues the umbrage trying to convert her into believing in healing
Then Caller X says - I just had unprotected sex with a married man.
Chaz B – What? You just had unprotected sex with a married man? Why? Do you know you have committed a crime? How could you? That was wicked. Didn’t you think of his innocent family blah blah
And Caller X goes- All I know is men are going to pay for what happened to me after all they are the cause.
Chaz B - Why would you say that?
Caller X - I was raped by two men. One of them had it and has now infected me.
Chaz B - Two wrongs don’t make a right, Caller X. Do you know in some Countries you'll be facing jail time?
Caller X - Why should I be the one facing jail time when my rapists who happen to be upstanding members of society, known to my family in fact my uncle and his friend, and you dare to tell me I am to go to jail? How could you? What about me? What about what I have gone through?.......
Presenter was clueless to this girl's pain and waxed on sanctimonious. Caller X was getting hysterical. Chaz B then asked her if she could call him back after the show. She didn’t answer and she cut the call.
My mouth was agape. For me this Presenter Chaz B had failed on all fronts. Victim blaming, Slut shaming, judgmental, stigmatization. I don’t doubt that if Caller X had said she was raped at a party he would have started preaching to her about why night parties are evil.
What is wrong Inspiration FM? Let me tell you. If you want to have this kind of show, do invest in someone with some training or professional experience in counseling. Someone who can handle troubled callers with the delicacy and kindness they deserve. What she did was wrong and I'm almost sure it was remorse for her action that inspired this call. Caller X needed empathy. There was a past she needed to deal with. She needed to be asked if she was on ART (Anti Retroviral Therapy). She needed to be told that there was life beyond AIDS and Rape. She needed to be directed to a Nonprofit which specializes in rape or Domestic Violence; maybe her rapists could still be brought to book. She needed to know that having unprotected status with men whose status she doesn’t know can lead to a re-infection with a different HIV strain which will upset her therapy and cause resistance. She needed to be gently asked, cajoled to inform the man she slept with to go and receive Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). What she didnt need was to be told by Chaz B that SHE WAS A CRIMINAL WHO DESERVED JAIL.
Sadly other callers called in some telling Chaz B he didn’t handle the call right but HE INSISTED he was doing the public a service and would do it the same way all over again.
Shame on you Chaz B. Think of all the other men and women out there who would never tell anyone about their status or what they have done wrong. And the cycle of stigmatization and revenge continues.
Why noone remembered to talk about the husband who was foolishly endangering his wife by having sex without condoms I don’t know. Anyway this post is about Beautiful Caller X.
Caller X, If you ever come across this post just know me and my friends do not judge you. Even if your body harbors HIV, your Soul harbors someone purer, someone nurturing, someone kinder, someone stronger than the sum total of her past. You go girl!
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