Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Unwilling Bride

I’ve been sleeping too deeply nowadays and as a consequence have been dreaming too.

Last night I dreamt about a wedding. My wedding. Engineered by my family . Groom never been seen.
The gist was my family had got tired of my unmarried state, and had gone ahead to betroth me to the son of some new acquaintance (‘new’ cos if they were old acquaintances, I would have known the guy right?!).
And they fixed the wedding on the day I was coming home…you know like ‘Surprise’!!! It’s Your Wedding Party!
So there I was kicking, crying and shouting: ‘How dare you’. ‘This is unfair’. ‘Marriage is forever, you shouldn’t hitch me with someone I don’t know or care for’. ‘We are not Indians’, ‘How much are they paying you all for this?’, ‘Are you bankrupt Dad? Are you sacrificing me for some financial merger?’, ‘I will never forgive you’ blah blah blah.
2 minutes before I woke up, I remembered what I should have done the first time I heard, RUN.
There have been times when I thought marrying a stranger was romantic. Blame it on Violet Winspear, Penny Jordan, Ann Marjorie (M&B Authors). But after this dream, I won’t subscribe to that again.
I can understand match.com and old fashioned matchmaking from the family, where Mom thinks you and a certain son of the Smiths would be a good fit. Then they introduce you guys, and after one or three dates you decide you like each other and want to move on to another level. Remember the matchmaking mom in this post.
But when sight unseen, a wedding is arranged, it can be terribly medieval and sometimes even cruel. 
Or do you think its romantic?

4 comments:

  1. I have a lot of friends from India, and some from Saudi Arabia as well. Arranged marriages are the "norm" in those countries. As I've had it explained to me, your family knows you the best of anyone. They know what will make you happy long term. They want your happiness and they take "love at first site" out of the mix because it doesn't last. And as a result, marriages in India are more likely to be successful than marriages in the US. According to the people I know, they are never "forced" to wed someone if they strongly object, but that rarely happens.

    So, no baby, I will not arrange you a marriage. But I might find you a good guy!

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  2. Ha ha! Arranged marriages work because both parties go in with absolutely low expectations and come off really like one another. I guess in the end, families match their kids based on compatibility not love. When both families share similar values and norms, then the transition into a new family is nearly seamless.

    That said: I am too much of a control freak to let anyone find me a husband.

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  3. come again about the HINDU part...... JG

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  4. Hurray to taking 'love at first sight' out of the mix. I am beginning to think it isnt so essential anymore. Good chemistry is essential and can be built on. I mean, it doesn't always have to be firecracking. at least not at the beginning. But compatibility goes a long way even if it sounds sorta boring.
    @LL..You're no control freak. If that's the only criteria, I am a superfreak.
    @JG:) sensor on board!

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