Sunday, May 30, 2010

Long Movie Weekend

JG4M is out of town and it’s seems I have forgotten how to live with myself as company. Didn’t know I would miss his company that much. I had been thinking that I needed me some ‘me’ time. Well I’ve got it for a month and It feels strange. lol.  Well, at least one thing remains steady, comfort movie watching lol.
Thought I will change the way I review movies. Make it less verbose.
Movie:
Wow factor:
Urgh factor:
Did you have to:
My score:
So here goes
Plot: Havent we all read about or heard about Alice?
WoW factor:  I loved the the book as a child and never got to see the earlier movie versions so this was like a story come true seeing those much loved [Cheshire cat, Mad Hatter, Dormouse, Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum] and hated [The Queen, The Knave of Hearts, The cards] come alive. The colors were sharp and vibrant. Felt like a child in wonderland. Do note that Alice in Wonderland [2010] is a sequel to the original series cause Alice is older now…a bride to be in fact! Johnny Depp stole my heart as the Mad Hatter. Mia Wasikowska [Alice] performance was excellent too. It was a perfect balance of childlikeness and maturity!
Urgh factor: None at all
Did you have to: make Alice go back? Sorta liked the idea of a romance with Mad Hatter
Ginger Scores it 7/10. Well I’m biased. Go watch!

Plot: Honeymooners on an beach Hawaii find out that there are murderers about. And they begin to suspect each other.
WoW Factor: The scenery man! And the two lead actresses: Milla Jovovich and Kiele Sanchez. I loved the chase and fight scenes. It was so un-catfight like. You know the way producers usually portray girl fights. I also loved the romance btw Nick and Gina. It was worthy!
Urgh factor: Why didn’t I cotton unto the fact that Steve Zahn had issues. He looked weird from the start.*oops spoiler*
Did you have to: nope. No fail plot really….
Ginger Scores it: 6.5/10 It was clever as thrillers go.

Plot: Leonard is determined to avenge his wife's murder. But was she really murdered? or did he kill her. Worse he sustained a short term memory loss which means he can't remember anything that happens day-to-day.
WoW factor: The mental disorder Leonard [Guy Pearce] was suffering from. The elusive murderer John G, the 'caring' Natalie. You have to keep remembering that his memory is really short span. And that the colored scenes go backwards while the black and white bits go forward. Sorta confusing but when I finally ‘got it’…Everything made perfect sense! Just remember that the first scene is the sequel to the last scene.
Urgh Factor: None really..but that scene where Natalie tests his memory by spitting into his coffee was gross! But it was also a defining moment.
Did you have to: nope. No fail plot!
Ginger Scores it: 7.8/10

Plot: errr.....Bad man wants to destroy Iron man and rule the world. Iron man won't let him.
WoW factor: A whooping $200m was spent making this movie. Well, the new Iron man suit was shinier and more swaggerish right wasn’t it? Seems I’m on the female side again but Scarlett Johanssen as a kick-ass detective was a sight for sore eyes. I hope to see her in a female superhero role in the future. She’s got what it takes. Robert Downey Jnr was hot and smoking [no pun intended] as always, but methinks his character had more depth and charisma in Sherlock Holmes.
Urgh factor: Too much metal and burning and strobe lights. And what’s up with Don Cheadle? Even the iron man suit couldn’t elicit a spark from him.
Did you have to: make this sequel? Really I feel it is/was over rated!
Ginger Scores it: 5.5/10

Plot: The triumph of Obese abused teen mom Precious from a life many would have nightmares about.
WoW factor: Precious movie! Did I cry? Yep I did. At the Precious who could not think of ‘anything she was good at’. That hit me that someone could lack that much of self confidence. Monique was unrecognizable in Precious. She really lived the role. From the bad hair, to the blotchy skin to the trashy dressing, to the speech [hello! where is the fashionable and powdered to a ‘T’ Monique I know and love2hate?]. But the movie just grips you. An hr after it ended, I was still sighin about Precious’ childhood. Please Lord have mercy on all the kids going through situations like this today. Give them some hope.
Urgh factor: Gabourey Sidibe needs to loose some weight. For real.
Did you have to: Add HIV infection to her woes? Felt it was an overkill
Ginger Scores it: 8/10

Plot: How does a classy pretty chic do when pregnancy ensues after a one night stand with an un-eligible bachelor guy.
WoW factor: Saw good reviews about this movie and knew I had to watch it. I do love RomComs but I really feel this was edgier. It was so down to earth. So believable. And without being preachy it addressed all the hot issues: unprotected sex, pro-choice, body-imaging as per her workplace, male taking responsibility, females and their ideas of what a perfect man is, an overworked doctor doing his job. The list goes on. And the labor scene? Was one of the most realistic I have seen*where was the blood and gore anyway*. There was a lotta yelling but it never felt comic. You just sorta bonded with her. Ben grew up and became the kinda man you could think of forever with. While bitchy Debbie clearly showed that she liked a man in control which her husband wasn’t.
Urgh factor: Ben and jobless friends. Really??
Did you have to: show us all those male crotches in loose spandex?
Ginger Scores it: 7.24/10. For a romcom, I would willingly watch it all over again

Sweeny Todd: The Demon barber of Fleet street
Plot: Mr Todd comes home after 15 years in exile burning with revenge for the men who stole his life and family.
WoW factor:  Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Cartier! Was a pleasant surprise to meet this two again in stellar performances. I had had the movie file for over 6 months but was just too scared to watch it. But after all the romcoms, I needed me a little thrill and gore. Sweeny Todd delivered! Great Plot, Romance, Revenge, Tragedy, Gore, Humor [When Mrs Lovett suggested using the bodies as meat I almost convulsed with laughter]. The murders were not nice at all. But the orangey colored blood somewhat reduced the horror factor. Would I watch it again? YES. Cause I really want to get all the lyrics especially the conversations between Mr. T and Mrs Lovett. The score was brilliant. I’ve loved the song “Not While I’m around” forever; never knew the origin was from the Broadway production of Sweeny Todd [1979]
Have I raved enough about this movie? I think so
Urgh factor: Mrs Lovett most unsanitary pies.
Did you have to: let Mr. T kill his wife, never meet his daughter. I could understand his reason for pursuing revenge, though I hated the fact that he lost focus and just become ‘evil’ but wasn’t there a little redemption?
Ginger Scores it 8/10


Plot: A journey with three friends as they pass through life's rites of passage: marriage, war and death...and realise that life is never the same after it.
WoW factor: Was there ever really a wow moment? This movie was high drama and some minimal action especially the Russian roulette games. I have never liked war themed movies especially those based on real life wars [World War 1 & 2] and this one, Vietnam. My WoW moment was when I compared the wedding party scene when all the friends were together getting married, cavorting, drunk on their high dreams of serving in the army then the last dinner scene a couple of years after [last scene] when they were together again. With some people missing and those left behind each carrying physical and invincible scars which can never be healed. You totally understand why the Soldier at the bar[wedding party] made that ‘Fuck It’ toast. Young Robert de Niro was a velly velly handsome man!
Urgh factor: Too many dysfunctional people. I do understand….it was war time and a small community.
Did you have to: make the wedding party scene last 55mins. I almost gave up on the movie at this point.
Ginger scores it: 6.1/10.

So, have you seen these movies. What did you think?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Sex and Icecream

A convo that ensued between Prof (online flirtmate) and I……

Honey
Bee     
Whats good?
I smell rain here. just hoping it waits till I get under cover       
under the duvet?      
roof, duvet, pant, in that order      
under whose pant now?       
Thot it should be "in" their pant      
Like me getting in your pant or in your hair           
if you re lucky to get to that position,      
you wont be correcting my grammar,       
Or under your skin.
action will speak louder than oyibo          
It takes luck then?     
hardwork      
entertainment value
You just made reference to "lucky" 
You'd get entertained. I'm sure about that         
talk is cheap  
But hang on a sec       
Does the onus to please lie on the man? Must we do all the work? How come women always think we get down to get them entertained? I am getting really sexist now 
sorry I wasnt the one that invented the act of sex         
or the physical mechanism of it. but from what i have seen, males do most of the work. man, dog, horse, chicken          
so ka anyi nu nti, you re not that special    
we have not told you to get pregnant, have we?
Maga 
I ain't doing no work  
I'll only have fun       
Shikena          
since its so much fun, what’s your beef then at doing the work?    
U do the work
I'll enjoy the fruits of your labour   
That's the way it should be     
but really, why should there be so much work involved in that act?   
why isnt it like eating a tub of ice-cream 
now that would have induced worldwide sex hysteria   
LOL     
U know nah   
We'd have been doing it anywhere & everywhere 
But it's a special act  
Spiritual, if u ask me 
So, it requires specialised skills        
and planned approach         
even eating ice cream has a planned approach in case you didnt know          
specialised skills?      
Save up to buy the ice cream   
on the planned day  
not in all cases          
lol..In cash or diet points
rush off from work to the grocery
I won't have to          
sorry slim fit Ogaranya  [means rich man]     
Laughsssssssssssssssssssssssssss        
spending an hr gazing at the various selections 
is akin to foreplay    
Hmmm           
An hour?    
your hands linger over the different packs        
That's if it's your 1st time there?        
Or u are indecisive at your very core           
not necessarily         
Hmmmmmmmmm   
Its cos you re reminiscing     
Ginger
I disagree       
hmm I loved banana           
Both are incomparable         
apple hit me in the all the right spots       
peanut left me high and dry          
Well, ok          
Maybe for women      
strawberry was…delish       
I make up my mind before going out          

get the drift? akin to comparing former positions tried                        
or past boyfriends lol
Not akin to anything
Nope  
I disagree       
you disagree?           
she finally makes her choice          
it may a flavor once tasted and liked        
or it may be something entirely diff         
pays, and off she goes        
spends her time in the bus/train indulging         
Ok         
I agree  
her thots..thinking of that 1st spoonful   
Will u stop now?       
gets home, off to the freezer           
Oh dear!         
well, if its a quickie, she's opening it right there and then for a spoon or 3   
or if she's got some control and believes in savoring things'   
goes for a warm bath          
wears some satinknickers     
U are a nut case        
Slots in some yet to be seen Romcom in the DVD          
Ummm           
U deliberately trying to get me on? 
and let the party begin! 
No, I am not      
but I suddenly realised that sex-y can be found anywhere       

Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Skin: Its a love/hate relationship

Why do people call me black? It is soooo annoying!! Why not Cappuccino, Caramel, Toffee, Moocha. If you must color code my skin at least be creative about it msheeww!

I used to be so self conscious about my complexion that I avoided carrying fair kids. Well, I've had bad experiences which have got me self conscious. E.g. I visited a friend, and while trying to take her baby into my arms, the 4 month old milk-colored girl had a look at my face and screamed blue murder. Note, she had been carried and cooed to by two other milk-colored ladies before me and had been all gurgly and smiley! I had to hand her over to her equally fair mom. *hiss* Already racist at 4mths?

In a world where more and more people are dissatisfied with their skin color[take a long look at the milk face vs Coffee legs around ya], where Western cosmetic companies are raking in millions selling their idea of beauty to African women, I have stuck determinedly to my God-given black skin. Not that I have not been tempted to change nature and alas given in once in a while[previous post an example]. Another time was in the University, can’t remember the poison I used then, but my face went 2 shades lighter and 'polka dotty' cause my acne spots which my God-given concealer had kept invincible were now revealed. My doctor Sis saw me then and gave me a short lecture on the dangers of damaging my skin, ‘you only have one skin”.
That phrase stuck thankfully and I became quite adept at reading labels on cosmetics.

But sometimes I still eyes at the tubes and creams promising me fairness in 21 days. Why you wonder???
Black skin aint easy!
  • 1.      Black skin needs a lotta work to look great. Too much moisturiser and you look look oily, too little and you have dry white patches..
  • 2.      Black skin requires a good layer of make-up before you look 'made-up', conversely you can end up looking like a paint palette.
  • 3.      With black skin, you can't afford to look get tired, cos tired black skin looks ashen[I think that word was invented specifically for  black skin]
  • 4.       Shopping for clothes can be torture. We need bright colors. But there's also the struggle to maintain a balanced tone. Too bright and black skin produces a startling contrast, too dark and it sucks out all color from the skin.
  • 5.       Little black dresses are not the best for black gals. Sigh! this gal loves her LBDs. And they are bad for me on 2 counts[Skin color and slim body type; think US size 0].
  • 6.       Black skinned girls need to work harder to be noticed; be more vivacious, smile more, especially if you are in a dark place so people don’t think you are shadow.
  • 7.       Black skin means that you look scary (a.k.a masquerade) when you use color 33, 30, 29 hair extensions. Note #4
  • 8.       Black skin is immune to toning creams!! You know those creams that a fair person uses and within 2 weeks looks glowingly bright not necessarily bleach.eg Fair and White. Alas my skin is unchanged. I have been using same for 6 months now. I only continued cause it really cleanses and I love the smell. Sigh

Disclaimer: Black skin here refers to Alex Wek’s types pls. Not Halle Berry, not Beyonce, not Oprah and not Bianca Ojukwu types Thank you.
Skin Care Tips
In my cosmetic trials over the years, I have come to know/learn some facts like Hydroquinone should be used with caution if at all, I know betametasol and clobetasol containing tubes [betnovate, hydrogel, which are ubiquitous in our cosmetic shops] should NEVER be used unless you have a prescription from the doctor or you have dermatological problems like psoriasis
I know shea butter based, olive oil??, cocoa butter based lotions/creams make for shiny black skin though they are too heavy for use on face[and that’s if your skin likes them. Mine breaks out].
I know drinking plenty water is good for your system and skin. Hydrate! Hydrate!
I know Moisturizers with spf 15 and above are good for black skin too. Yes we can tan too (all that melanoma) in case you didn’t know. Thankfully we are not as prone to skin cancer  like fair skin types.
I know black is beautiful and that we’ve got only one top skin layer so please treat it nice.

Do tell.....what's your secret for great skin? Or maybe advice me. My skin is hyper-allergic, a combination of all skin types[oily, normal, dry] and breaks out like ABC in a bad month! Yeah, that bad :-(

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Movie Weekend

 
This little girl Chloe Moretz has kicked the ass of every adult Female Superhero I have seen to date to the curb. She was focused, cute, vulnerable and kicked ass without mercy, nor did she ask for. Her mission was bigger than her and I think thats what makes a SuperHero not voluptuous bodies in skin hugging outfits slinking all over the place. No apologies Elecktra, Lara the Tomb raider, Aeon Flux, Batwoman, CatWoman.
But on to serious matters, I half agreed with this review in "Rotten tomatoes interesting 'Hit Girl flips like a gymnast, curses like a sailor, kills like a maniac and ignites yet another useful if irresolvable debate on the limits of screen violence, the desensitization of the culture and the wisdom of exploiting children for entertainment". 
I found the first scene when Hit-girl[a 10yr old] graphically murdered 7 men disturbing but.... decided to carry- go jare[continue] and enjoy the movie.
 But people, this internet age na wa. Did you find it unfunny that when Kick-ass was defending the guy against the 2 goons, that all them kids were watching and videoing the action instead of helping or calling the police?? Okay maybe they called the police, but the look of fascination on their faces was more like 'Yay, real live action men!! Talk about Zombie nation. God help us. Rating despite disturbing image ;-) 8.8/10
 
So JG4M wanted to see this and I initially left him to it, but changed my mind 15 mins after. So I missed some of the great action at the beginning. Still didnt detract from the beauty of this movie. Its supposed to be 3D but I didnt need that to enjoy the flawless choreography from Vincent Zhao and Andy Yo. Add some dark magic to that, some psychoses, drunken martial arts and you have a great story which only Asians could pull off. It would have looked ridiculous if Hollywood. Michelle Yeoh [Hidden Dragon, Crouching Tiger] made a thankless cameo appearance. I was actually looking forward to some sword fight from her: alas she vanished the way she came. my rating: 7.2/10
 
I watched this movie[1950] based on The Fiendish's recommendation and I must admit it was a simple but deceptively complex and most thought provoking movie about what truth is. And how human perspective influences what we really see and what we think we saw. A Samurai's dead body is found and his wife admits that she was raped by a notorious bandit, Tajomaru. Who killed the Samurai is the mystery we are left with. 4 people a wood cutter, the wife, the bandit and the slain man's spirit tell us what transpired from their own perspectives. 3 of them claim to be the killer. And the killer was......well, I cant tell you cos i don't know. methinks it was a suicide. Watch it and make up your own mind...if you can.
 
Another blogger gave this movie a not so positive review and this put me off the movie somewhat for 7wks [the file was moulding in my movie folder]. And was she wrong [this applies to my reviews too u know]. It was a good movie admittedly not as great as the hype but still. An amazing performance from Shah Rukh Khan as a man suffering from Asperger's syndrome who is telling post 9/11 America not to judge him by his Muslim name. Yeah, it was a sobfest, full of info about the syndrome and chock-full of heart. Rating 6.7/10 And guess who made an appearance in the movie albeit a small part as a young Rizwan Khan...Tanay Chheda [Middle Jamal in Slum dog millionaire]. Hope he makes it good in movies [if thats his dream]. 
Go watch people. I must have lucked out to have seen all these lovely movies this weekend. Puts me in a great mood for work hehehe. Y'll have a great week ahead.


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Man Vending Machines

World’s strangest vending machines
From pizza to a bar of gold, the oddest items — instantly


"If you find yourself in Milan’s Malpensa airport—or a few other places around Italy—you can watch as your dough is kneaded, your desired toppings doled out, and your pizza bakes ... all in just under three minutes. But if you’re hoping to watch a real Italian pie guy work his magic, you’ll have to go somewhere else—this pizza’s made entirely inside a vending machine".

I saw this in the news today. These vending machines are not woman-friendly. Single girls in the house yay, we need a man vending machine right?
And in the spirit of fairness, you are allowed only four toppings:
1.      Richy
2.      Hunky Hunk
3.      Witty
4.      Ambitious
5.      Dresser
6.      Monogamous
7.      Orgasmic
8.      Creamy
9.      Chocolate

Gimme some 3, 4,  6, 7 please. Lol. Whats your pick?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

In Movies - Less is More

You don’t need a crystal ball to know I am not into Nollywood movies huh? And why? Well, to mention but a few of the things we dont just get right:
Theatrical talk - “Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! How dare you not answer when I call. I, your own mother?’ or
Five minutes of film tape watching Rita Dominic roll her bulbous eyeballs to indicate anger malice or retribution, or
The hissing, puckering of lips and keeping of arms akimbo to show displeasure or
The continuous chorus of Alleluias or Jesus calling to indicate some luck or providence.

I know African culture isn’t exactly subtle. We are loud and proud but I think real life and motions behind the camera and lights are entirely different.
Eye rolling and screaming in real life contexts isn’t as obvious as it is in film when the camera is focused on you and thus EVERY ACTION you make is literally magnified. Have you seen our sequences when the actor is in deep thought and his thoughts are being read to us. Rarely do they get the finer nuances. As his thoughts come to a conclusive next line of action, there comes this unsynchronized head nodding “Yes [nod], I shall [nod] go to the village [nod nod] and tell Mama[nod nod nod nod]. Yes, [nod nod] that is what I will do [nod nod nod]. It’s not an exaggeration abi people?
What happened to subtle hints that lets the viewer complete your with/for you. That is what gets us involved.

Imagine this scenario, a family of 6 who have fallen on bad times and are barely scraping by. Poor mom is coming back after a particularly hard day looking for a job. Then as she walks past a high rise unknown to her a barely eaten box of pizza comes fast falling down towards her. Fast rewind, Scene shows a rich family with one of the kids about to eat her pizza order and because she is greedy and wanted to eat it all alone runs towards the window and as a tussle ensues between her and another sibling, the pizza slips off their hands and falls.
As the viewer, you are already anticipating poor mom’s joy. And rooting that the pizza falls into her basket..which then happens.
At this point, it would be an overkill for poor mom to start chorusing Alleluia, and dancing on the street or rolling on the ground in thanks.
A huge smile on her face and a simply whispered ‘Thank you Lord’ conveys it all. Then a jaunt in her steps as she now walks home with a meal for her family.

In Naija directing: she ‘d first bind all satanic forces out to get her in the food. Or she comically looks around for enemies or the police. Then finally run amok with alleluias, Jesus’  and testimony giving. You the viewer gets irritated and just wishes the scene over. We lose the magic of that moment because of poor directing!

This brings some great movie scenes to come to mind:
Avatar: In the Tag post, I said I cried over the destruction of Pandora. I lied. My first tears in Avatar was during Jake Sully’s first simulation as an avatar. He NEVER said ‘Yeah, I can walk’ but he showed it. Jumping running so joyfully. I felt that miracle… for every physically challenged person I have ever met.

Pelican’s Brief: When Julia Roberts cries and body resonated with each detonation of her lover’s car. I felt it. I felt her.

Slum dog millionaire: After the phone call to Lathika ended. You knew without him saying it, that for Salim had won his jack prize. He didn’t jump up, clench his fists in victory or anything like that. Just this serene smile that said ‘all is now well with my soul’.

The Champ: Champ, wake up. Champ! Hey don't sleep now. We have to go home. Got to go home Champ.

If I can read these emotions in mainstream movies why do our directors keep feeling that they have to be so loud for us to understand???
Exaggerations are for comedy please!

Who has memorable scenes from movies to share?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Random Q and A


  1.      When did you last get drunk?  At my bff hen party October 2008. And I have the pictures on face book to prove it!
  2.             Who was the last person you yelled at? Some chic owing me money and had the gall to give me conditions for payment. wtf?
  3.        When did you last cry at a movie? January. Avatar. Why did those brutes have to destroy Pandora?
  4.        When were you last recognized in public? Me, nobody knows me
  5.        When was your last major shopping extravagance? Dec 08…shit that long?
  6.        Who is the last person you regret giving your telephone number to? Some guy I met under a rainy day who then proceeded to call me 15 times a day.
  7.       Where was the last place you went out to dinner? The Chinese Restaurant in MegaPlaza
  8.       The last memorable book you read? Cathy Kelly –‘What She Wants’
  9.        When did you last dance? 65 minutes ago. I always have a reason to dance everyday even if it’s for 45 secs. But a boogey down till you bones cry ‘no more?’ Aug 2009. Dr T’s birthday party
  10.        Who was the last famous person you met? RMD. He was sitting adjacent to me at the Chinese place. Guy is still a hunk and a half [Q4].
  11.         What is the last thing you want to hear from your parents? “I didn’t give birth to you to waste your future with that Hausa/China/Edo ‘non-Ibo’ man” cos I know that shall be the beginning of a separation...
  12.         When did you last go for a walk? I walk a 100m distance from my house to the bus stop in the morning and same again in the evening. That counts right?
  13.         When did you last do your ironing? Yesterday L
  14.         When was the last time you ate junk food? Like….. this morning. Chocolate chip cookies.
  15.         When was the last time you smiled all day? 3 weeks back at my nonprofit Organization’s fundraising. My boss gave me this real public thumbs up that made the poor pay and stress all worthwhile plus a N1m donation.
  16.        What did you do last night? You really wanna know? Watched a movie…
       
          Go on…..NaijaMomAbroad, Mamuje, Harry, Tata,

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Back off plan

I always have all this big plans for the weekend but when its Saturday, I just can't get my lazybones off the bed. You don't blame me… trying to catch up on the lives of all these lovely and interesting bloggers [Solomonsydelle, Myne Whitman, Sugabelly, Melissa, Original Mgbeks, Chaotic order, Talkaholic, Naija daydreamer[and I've just discovered hilarious Niceanon, MamujeAnother shot] and the latest goings-on in Naija via 234next, then penning a byte or two myself. And before you know it, the sun is high in the sky, you eat a heavy breakfast and sleep calls once again.

I missed out on watching Iron Man 2 at Genesis Cinema yesterday with Jun and Al. Got my derriere off the bed at 1.20pm, got into the bedroom and the spirit of scrubbing come over me. by the time I got out it was 2.30pm [movie was for 2pm], so I decided to chill and go meet them around 4 when the movie would be over.
So to compensate myself, I started downloading a movie before I left, knowing it would be ready when I get back. Thumbs up DOPC!
Movie: The Backup plan.  I am not a great fan of Jennifer Lopez. I think she is a mediocre actress. Better as a singer. But her poor acting skills have been saved innumerable times by great romcom scripts like Monster in law, Wedding planner. And though her role was short in Jersey girl, she was quite memorable. Maybe it was the hair?
The Backup plan was cheesy over loaded with clichés and like soo predictable. Each scene was a déjà vu from some other romcom.
Great talkative dorky friend
Gay male friend
Grandma/Aunty with all the cliché phrases
Last minute Damascus scenes
Wonderful tear your clothes off sex on first/second date
Labor pains starting during an auspicious occasion guess wedding birthday
The race to the car/airport/bus/train station to say I love you

The heart stealer who wasn't given room to flourish was Nuts the Boston terrier on wheels. Well, I just found out that there were three of 'em dogs [real names Nip, Tuck and Nubbins] acting as Nuts and none of them were actually disabled. Hurray![ I kept wondering how they did the major and minor in those contraptions??]
 Jennifer and Nuts just didnt have chemistry shaa. and thats sad cos we could have gotten some real laffs from the dog(s). Maybe the dogs knew she was a fake. I dont think she really liked dogs. She was supposed to be a pet store owner and a pet owner and yet could barely show any love to her disabled pet dog??.

Poor JG4M. I put him through the 106 mins of iit. His comment "This movie was written to scare men. It's a horror movie". Lol

Well, sorry I burst your bubbles about this movie. If you are a die-hard Romcom fan, you might still find something to love…..and of course if you love animals like yours truly you might watch it just for Nuts sake!
Y'all have a great week ahead.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Origin of Rape: Male Brain

Just had to blog about this.

I came across this satirical piece from Choices Campus . Though its meant to be funny somewhat, i felt it was oh so true! In fact lets quote from the Bible.."If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off". I wouldn't recommend penile excision [polite way of saying ..chopping off you penis] but the guy who is inclined to think nasty thoughts about a woman who he is with, or who isn't with him aka stranger should make an effort to save himself from his vile habits period!

From the recent news about a cleric in Iran who said that immodestly dressed women are the cause of recent seismic activities aka earthquakes [ever heard of silliness??] to the yet to be totally Exterminated Nudity bill to the late Miss Grace Ushang who was raped and killed for dressing immodestly [wearing trousers] in a Muslim dominated state in Nigeria, I think its high time, men started taking responsibility for their actions and leave womenfolk's wardrobe alone!!

Top Ten Strategies That Are Guaranteed To Stop Rape Every Time

1. When you see a woman walking alone after dark do not assault her.

2. As a general rule do not have sex with someone unless they are awake and agree to what is happening

3. Always use the buddy system. If you do not think you can resist the urge to sexually assault someone, ask a friend to accompany you when you go out in public or to parties.

4. When buying someone a drink, deliver the beverage to them without adding a roofie or any other drug.

5. If your date or anyone else falls asleep on your couch while walking a movie, remember to not assault them.

6. When you feel the urge to rape someone blow the whistle so that your buddy from strategy number 3 can call for help. If help does not arrive fast enough, spray the pepper spray directly into your eyes.

8. If you are hired by a woman to perform a service at her house, be sure to provide the requested service and then exit the house without raping her.

9. If you find yourself following a woman in her car, immediately turn your car in the direction of the nearest police or fire station station and notify authorities about your desire to rape. Also before you leave a parking lot, be sure to check your back seat for any one who you might be trying to abduct and sexually assault. Set any unwilling passengers free without assaulting them before driving away.

10. Watch for signs of miscommunication with friends. If somebody asks to spend the night at your house or asks them to walk you across campus at night it is probably an indication that they think you will not rape them. Clearly state your intentions so they know what to expect. Also be sure to send clear signals about your desires before going on a date. Let the other person know that you expect the evening to end with a sexual assault. If you do not clearly indicate your intentions, the other person may misinterpret it as a sign that you do not intend to sexually assault them.



Thursday, May 6, 2010

OVeer Salman Khan Crush

Dear Salman,
My crush on you (3months old) is officially over over Veer. I just watched your latest offering and your primping, preening, constant side glances, inimitable grunts and hair flicks (haba I was almost expecting you to run your fingers through your hair (a.k.a Soul Glo in Coming to America) just had my goat.

Veer reminded me of all the things I don’t like about Bollywood: dumb beautiful female leads whose range of acting skills don’t stretch beyond smiling and crying and of course hip shaking.
Then the story...Would have been an unforgettable epic if it had more depth.
I could relate to the angst of the Pindaris against Madhavgarh's King(help!!!) but in most of the movie, they were depicted as a merry drinking singing prank playing tribe with no culture that made you yearn for them to have their independence. Compare this to the Samurais in the last samurai, Pandora tribe in Avatar, The tribe in Braveheart. Those were great traditions, so special you want them to continue with it undisturbed by all this modernity. I could actually imagine being in the British shoes. I would be itching to whip them into colonial subservience. Ok that was politically incorrect..forgive. no other nation or tribe has the right to impose their way of thinking or customs on another!

I digress, back to Veer. How old was he supposed to be in this movie? 18-25 I assume. But with all the airbrushing and best side view shots sic, He looked 34 to me(and you know that 10 yrs off his age is great) and thus too old for that role. My opinion...what’s yours?
The constant fights between dad and son were supposed to be endearing ehh? Okay. But didn’t you feel the foolishness of that last fight between Prithvi and Veer? Didn’t your hand itch to slap some sense into their heads? Didn’t it just negate all that ‘love you till I die’ notion they were initially showing?
The songs and dance…..I think they were time fillers. To justify 2.45 hrs of my time.
I will not deny that I admire greatly  Salman’s physique (come hug me muscle man) and that he can move that body in dance BUT He could have done better in Veer with stronger direction me thinks. And to think they call this movie his "Magnus Opus" in lay terms Masterpiece. errr..come again

Maybe I should just simply accept him as Bollywood’s own Arnold Schwarznegger(ok ok forgive me  Schwarz was never a great dancer (Twins?) or dreamboat..you get my meaning)……a.k.a Action Hero and stop looking for deeper nuances in his acting.
The most memorable part of this movie was the Surili Akhiyon Wale song. It is haunting me. Two weeks after watching Veer and I can still remember it. That’s a feat for a song that I only know the first line “Everytime I look into your eyes, I see my paradise” JG4M has downloaded it for me. Also “Gimme some sunshine” from 3 Idiots. Sweetums.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Nollywood Madness I

Each individual, however strong they may claim to be, goes through psychological disturbances at some point in their lives, whether they realize it or not. Who hasnt been depressed/suicidal over a heartbreak?? Failed exam??
Mental illness is a phenomenon that has been grossly misrepresented and misunderstood in the Nigerian society. Most Nigerians do not search beyond a wicked mistress, second wife, mother-in-law, or disgruntled neighbors for the cause of madness in the poor victim and this theme has been exploited by Nollywood over and over again. [See “Remember”, “Scores to settle”, “One dollar” and a zillion other movies I don’t care to remember]
Meanwhile Hollywood even Bollywood movies tell us different. They tell us that mental disorder goes deeper than that.  They tell us of the different types of mental ill health: Mr. Brooks, A Beautiful mind, Shutter Island, Karthik calling Karthik, Funny games, 50 first dates, 500 days of summer. That they are minds that no longer recognize the boundaries of real life and make-believe; good and bad, the boundaries that help us function as normal members of society. In regular language: some screws have come unhinged!

So how do the psychologists describe mental ill health: “Any of various disorders in which a person's thoughts, emotions, or behaviour are so abnormal as to cause suffering to himself, herself, or other people”.

Debunking some myths about mental ill health:

All madness is caused by voodoo, spirits:
Madness can be caused by genes, pregnancy and birth, traumatic brain injury,  viral infections, substance misuse, abnormal functioning of neurotransmitter systems, Psychological mechanisms: emotional processing, personality, temperament and coping style.
Social influences: abuse, bullying and other negative or stressful life experiences.

Mad people wear unkept beards and run around the market naked singing songs and talking aloud to themselves
Find above notable faces of people who had mental disorders. Diagnosis include clinical depression to episodes of mania and schizophrenia who still went ahead to wow the world with their creative talents.

Mad people dont know what they are doing:

 They do. Even if their reasons are not right. They are one of the most intelligent people on earth. Voltaire quotes: “What is madness? To have erroneous perceptions and to reason correctly from them”

Jack Levin, PhD, the director of the Brudnick Center on Violence and Conflict at Northeastern University in Boston and the author of several books on serial killers, including Extreme Killings tells of Dennis Rader known as BTK {Bind, Torture and Kill}, a name he created himself. In addition to being a serial killer and a psychopath, Rader was active in the church and had just been elected church council president before his arrest. He held a job as a compliance supervisor in charge of animal control. He is married and has two children. "Rader, like so many of the others, was extraordinarily ordinary," he says. "He looked beyond suspicion, he was active in the church, a Boy Scout leader and a compliance officer, and that is the secret to the success. " Like Rader, "they don't look like sociopaths or deranged killers, because if they looked like monsters, they would be apprehended almost immediately," Levin says. "Psychopaths wear the mask of sanity," agrees Michael Welner, MD, a forensic psychiatrist and an associate professor of psychiatry at New York University School.
Dennis Rader gave a cool and dispassionate detailing of his 10 murders during his court appearance. "For a person with a conscience, Rader's crimes seem hideous, but from his point of view, these are his greatest accomplishments and he is anxious to share all of the wonderful things he has done," Levin tells WebMD. "He held this close to his vest for three decades."

Mad people are not intelligent?? With the above example I rest my case. Does he sound like someone who is not intelligent?

Madness cannot be cured:
Some can. Some maybe not. But there are drugs available which can calm and subdue the more excessive emotions or violent inclinations.
Elyn R. Saks, in The Center Cannot Hold, wrote about her experiences as a diagnosed schizophrenic. Such a life did not seem possible during many years of her struggle with madness. The diagnosis of chronic paranoid schizophrenia with acute exacerbation flummoxed Saks. All along she had considered herself not mentally ill but weak-minded and deficient in will.. Medication dispersed the demons, but Saks habitually wanted to discontinue the medication once she felt better; when she did go off the meds, she inevitably got worse.
When clear-headed, Saks was an academic marvel. She wrote a final exam that was the best her favorite professor had seen in twenty-five years; she published a Note in the Yale Law Journal in 1986, “The Use of Mechanical Restraints in Psychiatric Hospitals,” which the Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law used in presenting a class action lawsuit against a Midwestern hospital; she scored in the ninety-ninth percentile on her bar exam. Yet she knew her condition precluded her performing as a litigator, and after a detour into legal aid work, she chose to pursue a career teaching law. She’s got a choice job at the University of Southern California.

Nollywood owes it to her audience to make a more concerted effort to increase their viewers awareness about mental disorders. They are an important source of public information on mental health issues, shaping people’s attitudes towards mental illness. The society is not helped by their constant portrayal of the mentally ill as either people getting their comeuppance or innocent lambs defenseless before the wicked.
The society should be aware that madness is CURABLE even PREVENTABLE. That it has perfectly normal/identifiable origins. It is only with this knowledge that we can lovingly reach out our hands to help.
Have you experienced mental illness before or someone who has?



Antisocial personality disorder
Portrait of a Psychopath

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