Saturday, March 26, 2011

Lord of the Ribs - Nigerian Style

So, I attended Basketmouth’s Lord of the Ribs show - a Nigerian comedy show, London edition - a while back and it was the bomb (blame this verdict on being starved of all things Nigerian)!!

To be honest I went ready to hang him on this blog. Basketmouth had vexed me at some previous encounter…..did I tell you of how I met the chap at Park ‘n Shop and thinking I should give respect to whom its due (unlike me), I walked towards him with a 100 megawatt smile and said ‘Hey Basketmouth… ‘ and the chap turned his back and bailed. Wtf? That was sooo rude. I mean… even if he'd wanted to stay incognito, he could have just smiled back, made a peace sign and move on. Not ignore me. Not bail- like I was some groupie or something?? sheesh

So I came ready to hate him, but hey the guy is good!!! He was more like the compere of the show and he managed it exceedingly well with wit, confidence and typical Naija style exchange with the crowd.

There was Tolu, Simcard, Buchi, Kevin J (a.k.a the white Nigerian) – that guy was something else. He has got Nigerian accents and mannerisms down to a pat. And really it was fun hearing a Brit do a mock-up of Naija antics from a cultural perspective. There was also Bovis, I Go Save and I Go Die.

There was a even an interview session with The now famous Adesina family. It is a reality show of a Nigerian (Yoruba) family living in London. Have you ever seen that program? I watched only one episode and didn’t it like it much. Why? Cause they were so culturally dysfunctional it hurt. Parents are living the African tradition of ‘Daddy knows it all’ while Kids are living the Western tradition of ‘I know what’s best for me’.
It kinda makes painful watching cause they parents are just plain bewildered half of the time wondering why their children especially the daughter – a 24 year old at that- is not a loving, obedient daughter as would have been the case back in Nigeria. From what I saw in that single episode, daughter was crying for her father's attention. She wanted him to say ‘I love you daughter no matter what. You have a place here.’ But Father just doesn’t get it. African fathers don’t say ‘I love you to disobedient, independent minded daughters’. 
So she goes on doing things that will shock him so he can notice her. It looked like a damn vicious circle.

I digress. I came up with some  'It’s only in Nigerian shows'.... style……motifs.
It is only in Naija shows that the program gives you a start time of 6pm while the show begins 2 hrs after. No apologies. They ended up rushing the last 2 acts who were supposed to be the best saved for last – I go die and Ice Prince- cause they had run outta time. That Nigerian time thing is just bad form.

It’s only in Naija shows that the artiste’s have to beg the audience to clap. Basketmouth had to beg the crowd – 'People, Pls, I beg, we are going to make this into a DVD, It would really be nice if you all acted like you are enjoying the show’. I sh*t you not. Thankfully they obliged him.

It is only in Naija shows that the audience come dressed as if for the Oscars. Naija peeps are fashionable I know but damn! I wore a cute top, jeans and flat shoes. 90% of the girls were in 6-inch red shoes and skimpy ass dresses. It was fun watching them shiver along to the tube after the show.

It is only in Naija shows that the people who paid for VIP seats (3x the price of the standard tickets) get the worst seats in the hall. It was so bad that one of them threw the comment at Basketmouth, 'We can't see what's happening on stage' and he retorted ‘You should have bought regular floor tickets’. I know we all laughed but hey…that’s not really funny. If I have paid good money to have the best listening and viewing seat, I wouldn’t have found that comment funny.

The running theme in the jokes was gold digging girls (yawn!), Brazilian wigs(bigger yawn!), Warri people (area!!) and how cold London is (coincidentally this was the first visit to the UK for over half of the comedy performers after numerous VISA rejections….lol). It is only in Naija that Visa success is a reason for public testimony giving.

Anyway I had a bellyful of laughter and I recommend Laughter as an excellent form of stomach exercise; belly-rumbling laughter. I must have burnt some 40 calories like that. When last did you have a bellyful of laughter??

17 comments:

  1. Don't get me started on their reoccurring jokes *yawn* and I have learnt a long time ago never to attend Nigerian shows. I have never attended anyone and I reject free tickets as it's not me. I have heard about the VIP scam thingy, my friends got VIP tickets to see R Kelly in Abuja..... They didn't see half the thing. Shame.

    The African time they is just poor and doesn't reflect us as serious and people who have respect for other people's time....the only time we are ever on time is for Embassy interviews and *sometimes* International flights times...especially BA.

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  2. I am using this inspiration for my blog. Thanks

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  3. Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!Gbam!

    For all the points that you made. I agree. Will you be going for the MI2 in april?

    yes, I plan ahead of time

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  4. I have gotten tired of listening to them comedy shows, it is same gist, twisted year in year out.

    African Time, no comment on that one because I am yet to decide which is worse African Time or the Indian Stretchable Time.

    At least you enjoyed your money's worth, that na the koko.

    Have a lovely last week of March

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  5. I bet it was fun! Yeah, i always get a good laugh about how Naija girls can overdress eh? It's very interesting to watch lol.

    That Ela he gave you at the supermarket must have hurt mehn! If i see a star i'm so going to blank them (except if its linkin park or something :D)

    It's like all these comedians don't have other stuff to joke about than girls huh

    Adiya
    http://thecornershopng.blogspot.com

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  6. @Mamuje - I touched a raw spot huh? I rarely attend Naija shows too, but this time it was cause I'd missed that Nigerian touch. and I got it in full.
    @Yinkuslolo - Planning ahead of time is the Koko! learnt in a painful way.
    @LAni -yes I did enjoy the show. but not again anytime soon.
    @Uncle Mike- Come on Uncle Mike. I know you are lying.
    @Adiya - I learnt a sad lesson from that ela from BM o! Coincidentally the next week, I was sitting a table away from RMD I just respected myself and ignored him.

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  7. I bet you had a good time
    i actually prefer I go die to Basketmouth but they're both great
    Totally feel you on Naija people getting overdressed at times. I guess we feel we have to show off all the time!
    Love your blog!

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  8. I can't get over how basketmouth treated you... that was rude.

    I don't know what to say about African time. It's so pathetic. Sadly, it follows Africans even when they leave the continent. I once attended an African church that didn't have a start or end time. Each service started when many people were in the congregation and ended as the spirit led. ...smh.

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  9. Hi Ginger,

    I love this pos! I like basketmouth and I totally empathise with your 'its only Nigeria'.

    I kind of attend events for a purpose, say a theatre for the performance, church service for the words and so on and I must say I do not enjoy attending Nigerian events for the serious lack of customer service or even consideration. Absolutely little to no customer satisfaction and I am the sort that puts a premium to my time.

    I dont attend Nigerian based events here (UK) and when I finally move back home, I will be one of those geeks that never attend events in Nigeria, preferrng to save her cash for trips as away from the Nigerian Factor as much as possible.

    When I USED TO attend Nigerian events my ears got tired of hearing bullshit like 'its not our fault' for lack of even water to purchase, 'there is no refund' for the crap of waiting hours on end for an event scheduled to start at a certain time. Never mind their power going off and the rest.

    Sorry for the rant and thanks for sharing

    Mena

    someone needs serious advice-->

    http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2011/03/er-candy-thoughts-caramel-dreams-and.html

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  10. i had a similar xperience with that fair nigerian actress(cnt remember her name now but it isnt rita dominic). we met her at a restaurant in lagos and she acted so cold like we were disturbing her jst cos we wntd a picture with her :(
    i've always loved basketmouth's comedy shows though its the same old recycled jokes,lol..and lmao at the women in skimpy dresses. Nigerian girls must overdress..smh

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  11. Basket mouth can be funny o! But, he should have acknowledged your greeting naa, haba! That is how I heard that Oge Okoye was angry that people did not greet her when they saw her in london or even noticed her. Why would they?????
    2! People who paid for VIP ticket should get value for their money. Why is he joking about it...that was not funny abeg

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  12. Girl ...

    I know about attending Naija events. Mm, mm, mm. It is crazy! Glad you had fun shaaaa. Been a while I laughed like that. LOL @ the comedian called SimCard. I like his name.

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  13. I would've loved to go if I were in the vicinity because I've never been to a Nigerian event before. Good you had a laugh.

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  14. It sounds like you had fun! And I'm very glad to see you getting out and about! Comedy shows are always fun!

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  15. There's a lot of that culture clashing around here. We're the youngest part of a young country and still get a lot of new families arriving from all over the world, and a lot of kids seem to grow up on entirely different planets than their parents came from.

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