Monday, April 18, 2011

Blackberry Babes - Where Hustlin is a way of life

I usually don’t take Nollywood movies seriously enough to do write a review about them, but…there is  first time for everything right?
p.s. Nollywood is to Nigeria what Bollywood is to India and Hollywood to America.

I indulged in 2.5hrs of Blackberry girls parts 1 & 2. Sigh. I won’t say I want my life back. Nay, I willingly watched it. I was jobless. It was free. So yeah I won’t complain too much.

Plot – Ehhh…the things Nigerian girls do to become owners of a blackberry phone.
Sorry dear Westerner reading this..you may wonder blackberry like blackberry phone? Ehhh Yes. It would seem that to some females in Nigeria (and I heard India too), Blackberries are the be all and end all of phones. Don’t look at me, I don’t know why!!

Wow - It was funny in the first 45 mins but started wearing terribly thin for the rest 1.75hrs. That drama could have been better packaged in 1.30 mins kapeesh. But sadly No, its producers plan to milk out 2 more volumes to make it a four-part movie. As usual.
Appolonia was funny..I did wish they had used her better. Like I wished she had really had a last laugh at the girls with her fake phones....maybe they’ll become nicer to her because of her new phone only to find out it is a fake one (revealing their shallowness)….lol.
Kesha or was it Geisha gave a great performance. She got the wanna-be at all costs character well. Even her transformation was done well.
Emeka was my man!! From his loyalty to Damisa who was using him, his generosity, the accent and to his simple revenge with Damisa’s girlfriend, he depicted a typical Igbo yob. That he was cute didn’t hurt too.
That fight in a class over an ownerless BB was genius!

Not so Wow - First, the two star characters were not exactly the most interesting. Damisa(Oge) is a poor, poor actress. In her bid to ‘spree’ she ends up enunciating each word which makes her sound weird. Vivienne (Tonto) was better generally but really what’s with the fake accents and laughter between she and Damisa? And did she have to be in bendy rollers for half of the scenes?

Secondly, I am yet to understand their never ending want to have the latest Blackberry phones. Kesha’s made sense she never had so she wanted to be one of the cool ones but for Damisa their need to remain top Bees should have been placed in a better context. Imo. The love of Blackberry phones is too thin a theme to base a movie now running into 3 parts on. Haba! Ok, now you have the phone so what? They were not exactly having the most scintillating conversations or bb chats or competing about who has the highest brick breaker score or accessorizing their phones to match with their clothes. Not even a chat romance. Just a lot of noise and omgs.
I once saw a movie ‘Cellular’ in which the plot revolved around a mobile phone and how its different features could be put to use. You could take something away.
In Blackberry girls, the features emphasized were not different from what my trusty rusty Nokia can do. Text. Call. Video. Snap. I’m just saying. Damisa was boasting about being on Myspace, Hi5...... Helloo!!! And Tonto owning 3-4 Blackberry phones was just plain silly.
Third, those girls were a bit too long in the tooth to be acting as undergrads. Haba!
Fourth, I truly got tired of hearing the word ‘blackberry’. They must have said it like a thousand times. Urgh! Blackberry nausea!
Fifth - the film poster was one of the ugliest jobs I've seen out of Nollywood. 

By the middle of the Part 2 you could see the scriptwriters had run out of a plot theme. All sorts of random and superfluous scenes were added on without thought for rhyme or reason. Like the script writers had all these great ideas which they couldn’t bear to discard so they made sure they incorporated it without considering - if it fit in with the overall theme. Or even if was really necessary? Cases in point - the wife that left her husband? Damisa’s boyfriend who was trying to get into Vivienne’s pants? Tonto bringing her sugar daddy to her Uncle’s home? What’s the connection?

Anyway, it was a fun watch still cause (a)I hadn’t seen a Naija movie in ages and (2)the opportunity to criticize kept me energized.
I know most of you have watched it. What did you like? what could have been added or deleted?

20 comments:

  1. haha, i've seen the movie too! AMAZING and funny.
    just for the Blackberry.
    haha, how about that fat girl? she doesnt even know how to pronounce blackberry! LOL

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  2. I have seen the movie also
    I found it a bit 'watery' after the first 30 minutes.
    The only redeeming feature was the 'orobo' girl - Apolonia.

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  3. I have seen the movie and even though some scenes were just too ridiculous to be true, I laughed really hard.

    Point of correction, Indian are not particular about blackberries. The Samsung market cannot liquidate because of the Indians love for them. Number of people using the BB here is really low.

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  4. I'll have to find this. I love silly movies just to laugh and this sounds funny as all get out!

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  5. when is iphone boys coming out?

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  6. You have said all. That's another silly movie I have seen in a while....mccheew

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  7. I havent seen the movie but after reading your reviews, I would like to see the part 1,

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  8. blackberry babes? loll...Nollywood is just too interesting...nyways,nice one...keep blogging.

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  9. I watched it and rolled on the floor with laughter. Ofcourse it was a naija movie so i wasnt xpecting too much..but it was a good laugh. I got fed up with the whole blackberry ish, it was starting to sound a bit too corny, but overall..not bad compared to many other naija movies i've seen :p

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  10. LOL!! I've not seen it. Great review. Nigerian scripts always run way too long. But i bet the first one at least will be worth watching- i might not watch the rest? I don't know what this BB craze is about either oh. It's really funny heh!

    Adiya

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  11. Ginger, how come you didn't mention the sound track..oya baby BB....that stupid song was resounding in my head for like 2 days..lol..I dont expect much from Nollywood but I just enjoy watching them! Great write up

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  12. @Vyvyka - this woman let me read my books na!! I was loling when I saw your comment. Oh I loved to hate that soundtrack!!! I was humming it for 3 days after watching!
    @Adiya, F and Okeoghene - What are you'll waiting for? Its on you tube. Please watch and get corrupted like yours truly.

    @Kitkat - lol. I agree it wasnt as bad as some.
    @F- thatnks for commenting. Go watch please.
    @HoneyDame - Oya Babe BB, no vex na.
    @lani -lol. yes o. when you write the script. Please consult us o
    @Linda- you are welcome too watch it.
    @lara - I stand corrected:). I saw it in some Indian woman's blog oo.
    @Naijamum- I agree. There was never a dull moment with Blackburri babe.
    @BP- I'm gonna baptise you Nigerian soon you know:). Glad you found it funny!

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  13. Okay, I have never even heard of Nollywood, so this is all new to me!

    I am gonna look for this one, I like different and wacky and silly movies!

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  14. I'm never, ever, ever going to watch this movie. Never. N.E.V.E.R.

    Thank you for your review.

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  15. I watch halfway through part 1 on BN and gave up. Finger to throat - horrible. NEXT....

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  16. @Myne - And I thought you had a higher tolerance level.
    @Uncle Mike - That was so strongly worded Uncle Mike. I'm laughing-mao here. Why wont you watch?
    @Alfredliveshere - Hey Alfie!! So long as you love em silly silly and different, you'll be fine.

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  17. Its a funny movie. Appolonia and Geisha acted very well.

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  18. This movie is everywhere! It seems I can't run away from it.

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  19. @Natural Nigerian -sorry!! I didnt know it was a virus lol. You cant beat them ...join them.

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  20. can someone tell me what the song in the movie is called an d who sang it

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