Monday, April 4, 2011

Growing pains: Born last but not least!

Once upon a time there was a perfect family of Eight. Agatha and Edward Snapasaman and their six kids, four girls and two boys. They weren’t rich but they were very comfortable.
Fastforward 8 years, one morning in June,  47 yr old Agatha went to her husband and said ‘Eddie, I think I am pregnant, I told you we were too old to be carrying on like that’. Lol..let my mom catch me!!! Come January, little Ginger came kicking and snapping into the world.

Well, that was my story in a nut shell. I could expound on the fact that…Mom had been advised to abort me. Think Down’s syndrome. Think mongloidism think the numerous dangers of pregnancy at that age etc. But tough Catholic faithful that she was, she said, ‘whatever child the Lord gives me, I will take’.
So you can imagine their joy when I turned out to be one freaking intelligent and adorable child. I hope that has made up for the stress I put her through.

Other interesting facts about this child:

1. My elder sister thought I was an embarrassment. Imagine it, she was 18 and in her 1st year in University when I was born. She felt gossips would think I was hers…lol.

2. My grandma hated me...cause my mom was her only child and following my birth she was very sick. So to her I was the child that wanted to steal her daughter’s life. We sort of became good pals as we grew older but alas I don’t have as much warm stories to tell about her like my sibs do.

3. I am supposed to be a re-incarnation of my paternal grandmother. All my extended family say I look and behave like her. In fact I cinched it one morning, when I woke up picked up a broom and started sweeping the verandah and environs. The elders exclaimed that indeed 'I am the mother' cause that was her usual routine every morning. Wtf???

3b. Anyway, sequel to being my own father’s mother incarnate, I am called Mommy by his sibs – my Yes o. they all call me ‘Mommy’. They give me the choicest fruits and drinks when we go home for Xmas. And I happily call them ‘my daughters’.
Fact -  I used the status as a ploy to get my daddy to buy me a doll when I was 12. He had initially refused ‘that I was too old’. So I crafted a letter and put it in his briefcase when he left for a business trip. It read:
Dear Son,
This is your mother asking you to buy her a doll. I would be very disappointed if you come back without one.
Love, Your Mother
Yep, I got the biggest sweetest doll in the market. Wish I had a pix of her. I loved her.

4. My dad flogged me for the first and only time when I was seven. He had just finished washing his whites and I dragged them round the floor. I can’t remember why I did that now but I remember him folding the Daily Times newspaper for that day and applying it to my tender buttocks. I haven’t forgotten. My mom on the other hand has a fast hand – I remember several backhands, slaps and knocks growing up.

5. For a short period I thought I was adopted. I had overheard my mom telling a childless friend to adopt a child. That she had done it and thought it was the best decision she had ever made. So I thought it was me. I mean that age gap, the endless teasing from sibs about me being black and thin, I had to be the one. I loved the idea and spent many a morning imagining who my real parents were and how they were going to come sweep me away ala Cinderella.

6. I became an Aunty at 8years. And a great Aunt (yay!) to my first niece’s twin girls last year. Amazingly I carried that little girl, wiped her ass, changed her nappy and fed her all that gooey baby stuff. Now she’s prettier/taller than me, bigger than me and is a mum herself. Life!

7. I get away with teasing my parents mercilessly. Especially my Mom. Last born privileges. My sibs are in awe at what I can get away with.
8. I hated my teenage years cause I was in constant conflict with my mom. She either thought I was too worldly wise or she felt she was protecting me from teenage pregnancy or some other teen-horror. But that was exactly what hurt. That she had so little faith/trust in her intelligent daughter. I hated her that period and used to pray with all my heart that God will find me another family to be part of. Of course He didn’t, but sadly we never had time to reconnect cause University came and I ran off happily to Ibadan knowing her arms couldn’t stretch that far.
9. I said I love you to my Mom the first time in 2008. I had watched one of those movies that make you remember how important family is and how much you should appreciate them. So the next time I called home, at the end of the conversation I went ‘Take care Mommy. I love you’. There was a split moment of silence then she replied ‘I love you too daughter. God bless’. Since then it has become a usual part of our conversation. Now she also says I’ve missed you. My Dad has been inculcated too. He doesn’t say ‘I love you’ back, but I know he loves hearing it so I say it. He’s my son after all.

10.  After 25 years of reigning as last child in the Snapsaman family, my mother went out one day and came back with a seven week old baby girl. So yes we have a new baby of the house. Spoilt as beans. You dare not complain about her manners cause my dad will actively defend her ‘I hope you realize you were worse as a child and yet you turned out nicely’. I rest my case. I love her dearly too my little sister; even if she’s a pain!

Post was indirectly inspired by Mother’s day, by NaijaMum’s post and by my own narcissistic TMI tendencies.


  1. What a story! What a blessing! Just out of curiosity, how old is your niece....the one with twin girls? I mean my nephew has 2 sons and he is a year older than me and he married rather early.

  2. aww nice story :) who is the child ur mum adopted?lol
    wow! ur mum is a trooper for giving birth to a kid when she was that age. I'm glad there were no complications in the birth :)
    i'm not the last born but i'm the last girl so i cn get away with many things lol

  3. How lovely to learn more about my darling daughter Ginger! I am so glad I didn't have you at 47 though. Yikes! Your Mama is a hero! I'm so glad you have gotten close to her after all your teen angst! I know you are the apple of your parents eyes!

  4. Wow...awww, aunty at 8 years. I wonder how you probably felt big. Lol. I enjoyed reading this. It's amazing how people suggest abortion so easily, thank God you were not aborted. You're lively and full of fun.

  5. I remember the horrible fights I had with my poor single mom when I was a teenager. She often said to me, I hope one day you have a child and I hope she's just like you. That may be the main reason I never had kids. Your family sounds absolutely wonderful, fun and full of great spirit. As an only child, I now wish I had siblings to share stuff with. Thanks for sharing a little bit about you and your family.

  6. @Mamuje - My niece is 25 years old and so capable.

    @KitKat - Ozzy's origins is a secret my Mom is yet to divulge 8 years after. But we don't care. She's our sister now.

    @Mom - lol. Yeah, you escaped all the sleepless nights and diaper changes!!I cant imagine being pregnant at 47 too. Especially when I thought I had had my last 8 years ago!

    @Jaycee - Thanks Jaycee. Abortion isnt always the right option, though it may look it at that point. God give us the grace to make wise choices.

    @Jayne - I can imagine you being independent and opinionated. Moms don't appreciate that in daughters. We want them soft and malleable. Ah well, you don't need to birth to be a mother you know?!

  7. I started awwing from the pictures! This is so cute, and I enjoyed reading. Your mum is a strong woman, and you madam great-aunt, are a trip, lol...

  8. aww..Ginger dearie! You are indeed a special child. Your mum has a very big heart!

  9. Hun! This was a great read! Last born privileges are not easy oh (i wouldn't know :( lol)


  10. Nice Anon: Nne anokwam uzo ebea o. ichoro kam pia gi? derem email inula

  11. I actually have a 32-year-old beautiful God-daughter. Her mom was single and I was there for her birth, named her and she really is like my own. I got lucky there.

  12. sweet! parts of it made my eyes water.

  13. OH wow!!! your parents are brave o! A wee on after you?!
    Your family must have been a heap load of fun. Mine was relatively small and somewhat monotonous. No family vacay to, say the village...(wait which village? I am only form there by paper. Maybe when my paternal grandmother dies, there will be an excuse to go visiting for the first time), no much extended family relations (except my winch of an aunt counts. that woman could lie against a foetus!) and a generally introverted family sha. Things are changing and we still have some fun memories in spite it all..

  14. Oh and I just realised a funny fact that while you had gone on my older posts, I was here on rampage know it sounds so cliche, but I really am tired if missing out on all these juicy posts cos blogger would update them on my blogroll!!!!...***throwing a tantrum**

  15. that was a great story! I'm a last born too and I loved most of it growing up.

  16. That may be the main reason I never had kids. Your family sounds absolutely wonderful, fun and full of great spirit. As an only child, I now wish I had siblings to share stuff with. Thanks for sharing a little bit about you and your family.view discounted product



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