Friday, April 15, 2011

Kids, Sex and Freak dancing

Hi Blogfam,
I saw this video shared by a friend's friend of two kids freak dancing(as defined by urban dictionary here) in a party. The little girl was dancing her heart out but in a most erotic way. For the 10 mins run of the video her bum was grinding in the most suggestive way against the boys groin. She was a Stripclub Owner's dreamgirl!! I am not easily shocked but my mouth was agape as I watched. In fact I felt aroused and I am not a lesbo. okay exaggerating but it was baaad!!
The boy and girl couldnt be more than 11 years. Initially the boy was merely dancing along, then instinct took over and he was now holding on to her waist and grinding against her. Never doubt that he was aroused even if he may not have understood the crazy messages his brain and testes (aka balls) were firing into his brain. Given a room, they would have followed natural and basic instincts.

This event bears credence to my pet belief that sex education should happen as soon as possible. I wouldn't go to the extreme of teaching sex education to 5yr olds as recently approved by the UK School Board (link here) or the Joys of Teen Sex (link here) targeted at 16 yr olds (Yep Brits again). Somewhere around the middle would be just right - 10 years.

I dont have the video to share with you cause the link has been removed by the friend. I know I didnt help matters too. You see, people were already making their usual judgmental comments about the girl's future in prostituition etc etc. But most the abuse was on the parents. Me, I called out the adult who had videoed that dance and thought it wise to shame that little girl by putting it up on facebook when she was a victim. So I guess the guy that put up the video must have read my comment and took it
Somewhere inside I feel happy that I won that victory for the little girl. That her video wont go on Youtube and become a hot watch for pedophiles or voyeurs. But I do wish you all could have seen it.

 My questions were these -
1. Where were the adults in that party? at least the person videoing must have been one.
2. Why didn't anyone think to break up that dance...not necessarily in a 'stop dancing you evil children' but, create a distraction (like little Miss Sunshine's parents). Change the music. Separate those two.
3. Who are the parents of these children, the little girl in particular?
4. Who are her siblings? She didnt learn to dance like that on her own. She must have practised a lot..encouraged by friends and senior siblings (like in the video below). Didnt they know better?
Don't all of the above need to be flogged, shamed or put in dance rehab??
I will cast no blame on that child. She is the product of a dysfunctional society, probably absent or 'I care less parents' and irresponsible musical videos. She is a great dancer no doubt BUT...what she needs to be told is that that kind of dancing has consequences. You can arouse the wrong type of people. It is indecent to grind your hips on a guy's groin.....well unless it is private and voluntary.

I was at a child's birthday party sometime last year in which the DJ's music was veerry kiddie's oriented. There was a lot of jumping up and down, head bopping, swinging of right arm/left arm, right leg/left leg etc. Dance routines that involved memory and mnemonics and clean healthy exercise.
Initially I was a bit disappointed cause I was comparing it to Nigerian style kid's parties where the latest pop music blares from the speakers not minding the sexual undertones in the lyrics or dance - 'Let me take you to
the Candy shop', 'Make I tell them the Koko', those days of Makosa.
But looking back now, I see I need to be re-cultured. Let kids be kids. Parents please don't be too caught up with work and life's stresses that you forget to pay attention to your most precious responsibility....your child's upbringing.
What do you guys thinking? Am I being too harsh?


  1. you're not too harsh my dear. You are saying the truth. Things are getting out of hand and it is time for everyone esp parents to wake up!!!! well written

  2. omg girl i saw the video on facebook, it had gone viral and everyone was saring and resharing it. I could only shake my head, it really shocked me to see some older people shining their teeth and cheering her on. It made her even more eager to impress. some parents need to be flogged.

  3. I saw the video, i think it was done in one of the islands in the carribean? judging by the type of hengrish used in the comments. And yes most of it cheered them on.

    I found it repulsive. In a structured society the parents or guardians of those kids, the person doing the filming and the ip address of the person who uploaded it, would have been put on a paedophile watch list, if not invited to the police station.

    I can honestly visualise one fat pot bellied man sitting her on his laps, asking her to perform that dance, using kid friendly words and all. Then raping her, saying she wanted it, she tempted him, she is a witch (all bullshit)

    ABi no be Naija a seating senator 'married' a 13year old girl?

    I think children should be children and paedophiles should be shot, no thats too kind, they should be hung by their scrotum/boobs

  4. i think i saw that video you're talking about. if she was my girl, i would feel devasteted. i would feel like i've disapponinted her in not bringing her up in a decent way.
    IT IS A PITY. i was shocked when i saw the video. another one, where my auntie posted it on FB, people were standing aside and cheering them up. ADULTS INCLUDING! but then i could hear that they were talking Spanish?.... is this apart of the culture?
    so, yeah, i believe it's apart of someone's culture....depends.
    i guess some mothers are proud when seeing their 5 yr old grinding and wining.....
    i would be, but not in the extent where a 5 yr old boy is included.

    HAHA u know how africans can be proud when seeing their child rolling the dance floor at a party ;)

  5. There was this christmas party showing on TV and the girl was dancing like a prostitute. Little 10 (or so) year old girl oh. I totally blame the parents and elder siblings too. For goodness sake!


  6. You are definitely not too harsh
    I dont let my kids watch MTV Base for the same reasons
    Most of the R&B/ Hip-Hop videos are like soft porn nowadays
    Unfortunately, most parents want to appear 'cool' so they choose to encourage stupid trend-following among their kids.

  7. The problem is that kids grow up too quickly these days. They are bombarded with images that we adults take for granted and are de-sensitised to. Popular culture has a lot to answer for but we must protect our children. A child must be allowed to remain a child until the time of childhood is over.

    This is an issue I do feel strongly about:)

  8. I Saw the video on facebook and i was so pissed off! Am not convinced the girl is not sexual active, its quite sad.

  9. I haven't seen it, but find the sexualization of children disgusting. I do not think 5 is too young for sex education. Information is never wrong. We only hope that parents educate their kids at home, but that really cannot be counted on at all.

  10. I saw the video and I must say I was amused...Kid had been watching too many music video.

    I blame the adults who were cheering her for her sexuality, i dont think prostitution will be the way for her, more like she would be encouraged to dance.

    You are not harsh, just saying it as it is.


  11. I don't think you're being too harsh at all and good for you for speaking out. I mean, come on! Why is it that some people want to have children, but don't want to be parents -- if you get my drift.

    I'm glad I didn't see the video. It would have had me seeing red.

  12. It does seem like the movie went around even more than I thought. I also thought it was filmed in Nigeria. Well I'm happy to know it wasnt.
    @Ope - you say you are not convinced she's not sexually active and that is exactly why I wrote this post. Whether she is or is not is not the issue because it still wont be her fault if no one has taught her otherwise. And I am willing to bet she was taught by someone. Or she may stumble into sexual activities all by herself with all that bump and grind (kids get aroused too). BUT..that's why there is a legal age at which a person is marked an adult - 18 cause at that age s/he is expected to know enough to think things thru before you indulge in them. An adult that can dance like this, will know the appropriate place to dance like that depending on her intention. She will know the consequences too. A child will/does not know these limitations unless they are taught to her. And this makes her liable to get sexually abused.

  13. Thank you Sisi.
    @Kitkat - I am sad it went viral but good you saw it. Unless you may not have understood my vex.
    @Mena - 'visualise one fat pot bellied man sitting her on his laps'. yep, that was exactly what I visualised. Sad.
    @BP - I would be happy to have a flexible child like that. But let her go flex in gymnastics or ballet pls.
    @Adiya - Flog them yes.
    @NaijaMum - Good for you. Pls keep it up! I know few parents can boast that.
    @Adura - Happy to know you are in the hater's club. lets keep shouting it. If one person reads this and it makes them change their mind about something then my work is done.
    @Ope - I wasnt calling you out in the last comment ooo!! Just that your comment underscored the reason for this post.
    @Mom - Five may not be too young but you really need to check that link out. 5 year olds are going to be taught what orgasm is. I am not sure i know what it
    @Lara - Amen to being encouraged to dance but appropriately.
    @Jayne - Now I wish you had seen it...I want you as red as me. As for some parents, they prolly think their work is done after nine months.

  14. Harsh ke? You said everything right down to the T. That's the new society. Kids should be kids no doubt. Lovely post again Ginger.

  15. I think I saw the video you were referring to. It is just plain sad! You have said it all. LEt KIDS be Kids for heaven's sake! I perosnally dislike that little Miss Sunshine show. It is just wrong to me. So, that early in a child's life, their mothers are exposing them to the idea of beauty being a big thing. The other day, I saw an episode where the little girl got a spray tan...uhm..

  16. Kids acting sexy in imitation of adults is kids being kids. I did it. It's natural and healthy. Adults showing videos of kids acting sexy is adults being creepy and weird. I'm with you - it's a good opportunity to teach kids that dancing is a form of communication and different dances communicate different things. But yeah, that's not a sharing moment with the rest of the world.

  17. Tattytiara - Kids will imitate anything and everything! True. I once shaved off my eye brows copying my senior

    Honeydame - I have seen kids being waxed and botox-ed in the name of beauty pageants too. That's why I loved the movie - Little Miss Sunshine movie. It was a satire of the excess.

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  19. Seeing things like this makes me almost scared of the world, and I wonder if I even want to have kids. So much responsibility for someone's life; it's a huge task, and one that most people just get into by default, without any thought or clear principles on raising them.

    I dunno... But we can be sure she learnt that dance from somewhere.

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