Saturday, May 28, 2011

Never been kissed by a girl

Looking through my news feed today, I came across some news article about the Billboard awards and how Rihanna and Britney kissed on stage (heterosexual female stars kissing in public is soo old and silly). I yawned after the fact, but 7 hours after as I sit reading for my last paper, I stop when the words start muddling up and look out of my window and wonder what it would be like to have a female significant other.

 The kids are alright’ gave me an inkling of what a lesbian couple’s life could be like that. My first thought was ‘not worse than living together with my best girlfriend’ except that we also have sex. Well, something that looks like sex. I must admit that right now in my head and mind there is no comparison between a dildos and a warm live penis but let’s not digress..
What do I want in a relationship-
Someone to share the daily-ness of living with
A companion,
Someone to pray with,
Witty conversations,
Merged income,
Merged families,
Shared interests,
A warm body to sleep next to (very essential to me cos I really. hate. sleeping. alone)

From my list above there’s really nothing a fellow woman can’t give me. Heck there are even Pluses –
I don’t have to go to Mars to understand her cause we speak the same language (alluding to men are from Mars, women are from Venus)
I can watch my chick flicks with her and I won’t think less of her if she cries nor she me
Witty conversations? Of course yes and spiced with gossip to boot!
We can share clothes
You all can attest to the power of a woman's prayer
No shopping alone
She understands my neediness cause she will be as needy too
We share the chores and cooking in the house
I am assured of getting great presents cause she knows just what to buy
She wont forget anniversaries and birthdays
We share the baby minding happily
Merged income is really merged income cause unlike men, women don’t hide money from each other
A warmer and softer pillow to sleep next to..

Anyone who has ever had a great female best friend can understand what I am talking about…
 Sigh. The only reason I can’t pursue this most attractive thought to its wonderful conclusion is, I really do love men. The warm hard male body. The male psyche, even if it is the cause of my numerous heartbreaks and headaches.
And really, it’s not like finding the great female partner is that easy. I mean it still involves dating plenty Miss Piggys before you find Ms Right right?.

I guess I’ll just have to keep waiting…………..



  1. LOL @ 'I really do love men'
    For me, I would rephrase that and say 'I am attracted to men.....but they can be a real pain' LOL

    Re: ...'involves dating plenty Miss Piggys'...True talk. I have a colleague who is a lesbian and her life story has made me realise that lesbian relationships can be just as messy as heterosexual ones.

  2. Guess there's hard work involved in relating with people, irrespective of orientation after all..People are soooo 'individual'

  3. Well counted. I guess for most down to earth gays like those in The kids are Alright, life is pretty much the same as a regular heterosexual. And both orientations have their wacky characters too.

    BTW, Britney and Rihanna didn't lock lips, twas just peck on the cheek.

  4. I have tagged you - (The Bag Meme)
    Pls visit my blog to know more

  5. Lool! see my Ginger turning bisexual before my very eyes :p
    I hate hate sharing a bed(even with a guy lol).
    & yeah, i'm too in love/lust with the male anatomy to ever be gay haha

  6. @Naija mom - Ok o. I am attracted to men. Wish I could turn off the switch though. Bag post coming up...Thanks
    @Rustgeek - Hi ya. Welcome to my blog. and you can say that again!! People is hard work. I'm considering cats...
    @Myne - Was that a cheek peck? alright then. Admitted it did look like that to me but when the talk show hosts were screaming it was a lip lock, i listened to their 'wisdom'. sic
    @Kitkat - Lolsssss. I don't do half measures though....If I turn Lez, I shall happily eschew men :)

  7. I am attracted to and I love men...biko, nothing a girl can do in that department.

  8. LOL at Kitkat's comment and your response...

    Like other's have said, all relationships have their ups and downs..

  9. Honey, I have a lot of gay women friends. Their lives are just as rich and satisfying and just as miserable and unhappy as the rest of us. People are people. I have no hesitation over saying that I think gay people should be allowed to marry. Not better or worse, just about the same as the rest of us.

  10. Ms. Piggys! HA!!!
    Wait, is that really what the guys say?
    Also, would you be allowed to hang out with your other girlfriends without your girlfriend getting jealous? I could see a lot of fighting there.
    I would imagine there are just as many pros and cons to having a girlfriend/wife as there is to having a boy. I mean, could you imagine your girlfriend ALWAYS wanting to talk about everything that's wrong? UGH!!!!

  11. Ha-ha. I like getting into the head of a lesbian or bisexual character to imagine what some of their (interesting?) experiences might be. But that's about it. I love lemons but I don't wanna suck on one everytime I have sex. The thought of getting down there! LOL.

  12. As someone who's been on both sides, i can tell you that as long as there is love and respect, it is possible to find happiness with either sex.Rocky relationships are not the exclusive preserve of heterosexual couples.Homosexual couples have their issues as me, some women ARE from 'mars', and they do forget birthdays and anniversariesas @ "i really do love men", i feel you on that one girl,but it possible to love both chocolate chip and vanilla ice cream.Hell,some people even mix them up.To each his/her own.

  13. *oops anniversaries*

  14. @Lara - Lesbians will argue with you in that department oo. Statistics do show that a significant portion of women in heterosexual relationships wouldn't recognise an orgasm if it hit them in the face.
    @Prism - Why cant it all be up up? I'm sick of downs.
    @Mom - People are people..No truer talk
    @Nanny goat in panties - oh dear. you've reminded me of some of the things i hate about girls. We do psychoanalyze to death. PMS too!!
    @Adura - Lemon? you crack me up. lemonade it na.
    @HedondisticNigerian - I do love mixing chocolate chip and vanilla and cherry and caramel and...yeah, I get :)

  15. There are great relationships to be had with either gender. Men can be a pain, but handy when the something breaks or there's a spider.

  16. Ginger! Abeg don't turn lezbo o! you mom will have a heart attack!

    I think a relationship with a woman would be like pulling my hair. We're very a finicky and jealous bunch. But like they say, "that fact that you're gay doesn't mean you don't have the right to be miserable too." lol

  17. Hi Mary - welcome here. lol...yeah they do have their uses :)
    Hey Mama - lol. That's a nice play on words -gay and miserable. But darling, you know if anything happens, you are the one who will take the message to Mom and Dad?? lol

  18. Baaabe ya on ya own! Never thot about it. The thought alone makes me a bit sick. I went to a girls school so know all the issues with ladies.Na so we go dey keep malice up and down. Besides who will lift the heavy's and change the bulbs? who will stand up to touts and bullies?

    You cant even use sex asa bargaining tool cus she mah can do without just as long as you Then who will guilt trip with tears? My lapdancing nko? all wasted?? tufiakwangi, Nah not cut out to be a lesbo.

    Also, like the sex and the city girls. I love hardbodies and balls o. Plus love dick, dick dick,dick
    dick in the morning, dick at night. Luv feeling it get hard against my tongue or skin. LOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

  19. LOL! LOL! This Mena will not kill me. With these few points of yours I have been convinced that Men are the 'ish' and shall henceforth suspends longings for the fair sex.......

  20. Hahha! Ginger! You won't kill me oh hehe. THis reminds me of a conversation a girlfriend/roommate i had (who's my best friend) about how we should hook up if no guys show up LOL. Okay, we were kidding, but it would make everything so much easier wouldn't it? (except for the lack of penis thingy). No need to learn Martian even lol


  21. God says it is an abomination. That should settle it.

  22. Just read this post... haha. U r so... Ginger. It is well with you ladies.

    - LDP

  23. Am I the only one who missed the sarcasm in this entire post?

  24. Sweetie, I think you're overgeneralising. I hate shopping, for instance. And I don't like cuddling or people touching past nwe-ing (I mean seriously, what are you touching me for?!) so if we were to end up together, in your view, it would be just like having a man. There is no guarantee that a woman would speak the same language as you do.

    Oh, and I hate people that cry at movies and general neediness. I just really hate it. My gut reaction is always "I'll give you something to cry about in a minute!"

    You see?

    I'd still love you and appreciate who you are I long as you don't expect me to change.



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