There was this guy I met while working as a Vet half a decade ago. He became our client at the clinic cos of his dogs. Nice soft spoken guy. I could see he liked me but hey I felt he was too old for me. Moreover he had mentioned that he was divorced..nay, not for me! (My boss was grilling him one of them day. She had noticed the unusual number of visits to the clinic..lol).
He had my number and used to send me almost daily texts which read something like – ‘darling how are you today. God bless you. have a nice day’. The ‘darling’ used to irk me but since the texts were fairly innocuous I didn’t bother complaining. My responses were limited to asking after he and his dogs’ health; nothing flirty.
He was also frequent with calls. Short calls to say ‘how are you’, ‘how is your day going’. I didn’t mind. I can gist up a storm anytime, with anyone if you are remotely interesting.
Once, I had to go on a housecall to give a scheduled medication to one of his dogs when he wasn’t around. He had assured my boss and I there will be someone to let me in and assist. I met the someone. A woman. I didn’t think much of it. cousin, sister whatever. She was friendly enough and I did my job and left.
2 months after, I was on my way back from home after a grueling day when I got a call
Lady’s voice - Hi, Is this Dr Ginger?
Me – Yes It is. May I know who I am speaking to?
Lady - My name is Lusty, Jamie’s wife and I want you to leave my husband alone. Do you hear me? leave him alone and go and find a man of your own!
Huh? You won’t believe it I burst into laughter. And was like ‘Is this candid phone? Hahaha. Cool FM will not kill me today.
Lady – This is not a laughing matter and this is not Cool FM, I am Lusty, Jamie’s wife
Me – (still laughing) Gbemi? Com’on cut this joke. You can’t caught me out in phone pranks.
Lady - (getting hysterical) This is Jamie Omokorede’s wife.
Me – huh. Coin finally drops (gulp twice, thrice). Then in a firmer voice. So, how can I help you?
Lusty – I just want to warn you to leave my husband alone. Go and find your own. Why are you going around sleeping with other people’s husbands and wrecking people’s homes. Do you know I am pregnant? 8 months pregnant? And because of you Jamie beat me yesterday. If I lose this pregnancy, you too will never have children etc etc.
Me- Lady, I don’t know what you are talking about.
Lady – You don’t right? Hope you know I am a journalist. When I am through with you, your name will be mud.
Me – (cat finally releases my tongue). Lady I don’t know you or where you came up with these silly ideas. Pls if you have a problem with your husband go talk to him and don’t involve me in your marital problems.
Lady – Well, just remember I know you and I have connections so tracing you isn’t difficult… blah blah
Me – (in my meanest voice) Lady, now listen very carefully I have just had a tough day at work and my head aches, I don’t need you to add to my stress with your marital problems. I don’t have any business with you or your husband. Don’t you ever ever ever call my number again. Cut.
But wait…after I cut the phone, I added two and two together. Could it be the lady I met at the house that day? damn. That lady was one big-ass woman. Like 3 times my size. All I could think was ..if she sits on me, I am a goner!! maybe it’s the DR title that confused her, cause If she realizes I am ‘The Vet’ and does her own calculations, there will be trouble.
I called Jamie to tell him what transpired and ask him to please take care of his home and desist from endangering my life. He denied that she was his wife (she's somebody I live with)... whatever! She’s pregnant for you; that must mean something.
Thankfully that was my last week with the clinic. But it wasn’t a funny week. Anytime a car drove into the clinic, I ran to the back till I was sure of who the client or occupant was. I shouldn’t get beaten over something I’m not guilty of, should I?
So what made me remember this 5 year old incident??
A friend of mine/former colleague who is like a jnr brother put up a nice picture on facebook. Friends commented, coincidentally they were all mutual friends from work. I did too. I wrote ‘My Juliano’. His name is Julian and I have always called him Juliano (imagine it being called in a veeeery strong igbotic accent). Maybe the ‘my’ was inappropriate but nobody there would have taken it out of context knowing our history. That has always been my way of teasing him when he’s good.
Maybe I should have put a smiley to show it was a joke? Or lol? The truth is I didn’t think that far. I wrote as I would have spoken if he were in front of me. Maybe if there was an emoticon for a kick on the shin……
That was 2 days ago. This morning I logged into my yahoomail and saw this FB notification:
Sandra Julian Okoro also commented on Julian Okoro's photo.
"@Ginger, he's my Juliano and nt urs.lol"
"@Ginger, he's my Juliano and nt urs.lol"
It took me 120 seconds to move from mirth to red mist. What arrant nonsense!! I followed the comment thread link only to find that the comment had been deleted. But my vex wasn’t assuaged. I quickly checked and Julian was available on chat.
Ginger - who deleted comment nwunye gi? (who deleted your wife’s comment?)
Juliano - na me
Ginger – good you did
Juliano - haha! i know u.
Ginger - anyway, point taken, I won’t comment on you and your family pictures again
Juliano - Hey babe, its not what she meant trust me. I’ve told her a lot about u and how both of us were real buddies in the Bank. Trust me it was just a friendly comment, no harmful intent (really?? Guys can be so blind)
Ginger - I hear you...but i have earned my grey hairs and shall respect them from now on.
So here I am shaking my head at the absolute fuckery of chics always trying to defend their men. Come on ladies! Stop seeing smoke where there’s no fire. It makes you look insecure. Or worse silly. And you make unnecessary enemies. In fact let me give you some headache saving tips.
Only snoop on your husband’s phone/facebook wall/email, if you’re ready to accept amicably whatever you see. If you are wise, any suspect act should be stored in some memory. dwell on it, pray over it and generally keep cool. Till something happens that looks even more suspect or adds up then ask. Nicely too. Believe me the truth comes out better this way than full attack mode.
If you must pick a fight, let your sparring partner be your husband not the other woman. Unless like Mrs Omokorede you have err bottom power.
Its hard but try to accept that your husband has other friends who are/may not be in your intimate circle yet. If he trusts you not to go gangster on his friends, he will introduce y’all. But if you keep acting like a harridan then the opposite happens……..and that is how he’ll justify keeping secrets from you.
So I know some of you will think what does she know, she isn’t married…well, I have had relationships and I am one jealous woman with a helluva sensitive smoke detector. But I've learnt to pick my battles with my man. Only with my man.