Friday, March 2, 2012

Can a Woman Propose to a Man? (A Male POV)

Myne’s post inspired this conversation earlier today. I thought it was funny, enlightening and share-able

Ginger: Can women propose to a man from Myne's blog post
Prof: yup
Ginger: my answer to that...
Prof: I read it
Ginger: Ha, Myne. no be me and you oo. If na Oyibo i fit. But African man MBA.
Fa fa fa foul!! I totally see where Deronks above is coming from and can envisage it.
Let the man do the chasing please. let it be all his idea. In this I will play the culture card. It is not our culture.
Same reason why i could never approve of getting pregnant before marriage.
Till our marriage is signed sealed and delivered I aint brooding no baby.
I don't want to be remembered for pushing a man.
I can hint, and I can give ultimatums like ‘guy if you dont get your act together
before this year runs out, I am walking away’ ala Craig David...
Prof: Hmmmm, Interesting answer
But I don't totally agree.
Every r/ship is peculiar and it depends
Ginger: Well, me no want peculiar
Prof: laughssssssssss
It all depends
Ginger: which nonsense peculiar
most times, the woman already sees a marriage before the man
and they scheme and they nag and thay ask all the
'where is this relationship going 'questions
Prof: :)
Ginger: what is the manly man waiting for?
Prof: It still depends on the two people involved
Ginger: ka agbanye ya ring na aka? (for her to put a ring on it?)
Prof: U are straying from the topic
Ginger: I'm not
I am rehashing a typical relationship
Prof: It's possible that Man A is the type a certain Woman X will never propose to
but could propose to Man B cos of the kind of person she thinks he is
E.g. How she thinks he'd handle it
Ginger: and why should a woman still propose after all the green light she has shown?
Prof: What's a proposal anyway? "Will U marry me (on bended knees)?
Technically, yes
Ginger: She can stand straight don’t worry
Prof: But a babe can propose in so many other ways
Ginger: ok. agreed different relationships/diff peculiarities
Prof: It all depends
Ginger: etc
you should know your partner etc etc
There are few men shaa that are receptive to it
I have just told you that I will find it easier to do it to an Oyibo man
Prof: See ur life?
Ginger: even to toast an Oyibo man
Prof: Na colonial mentality go kill you :P
Ginger: yeaah. like it is acceptable there.
in isnt
even if i come onto a Nigerian guy who understands, what of his friends, his family
Prof: That means he'd go spreading the news?
Ginger: its not the type of giggly story you are happy to share...oh Ginger proposed to me yesterday
Prof: Then he is not a man
Ginger: Dont we spread the news when a man proposes?
Prof: Laughsss
U are women
That's d difference
Ginger: in the spirit of equality and fairness should we hide it when a woman proposes?
Prof: Laughssssssssssssssssssssss!!!
Ginger, leave me o
Equality & fairness!
Ginger: going to copy and paste this bit of the convo on Myne's page
ewu gambia
Prof: LOL!
Ginger: but really na
Prof: Approved
Go ahead
Ginger: So you have seen all those engagement/wedding websites, haven’t you?
Prof: Post everything not just the part where u seemed to be winning o
Ginger: When the question 'how did he propose?’ is asked
Prof: LOL
Ginger: should we hide the fact that ‘she’ proposed?
Prof: Forget the website and the whole Hollywood entrenched thinking
Ginger: ahh ahh
Prof: If dem no come get website nko?
Must they have a website?
Ginger: which one is hollywood entrenched?
Why shouldn’t they if they had always wanted to?
Prof: Hollywood entrenched=pop culture= website/Man proposes kneeling down etc etc. Did U not see the couple in Sex & The City? Each marriage/relationship is unique & two people involved should make their own rules as long as it fits them. They don't have to play for people to cheer. Just saying, not that I personally would want a woman to propose to me (and that is the crux of the matter)

Ginger: I agree, proposals don’t have to be something elaborate.
Prof: Just saying there's nothing wrong or UnAfrican abt it
Ginger: ok.
Ginger: In fact here goes. Prof will you marry me?
Prof: No, it doesn't have to
On chat?
Ginger: lol
Prof: Call me and say it
Ginger: all na proposal na
Prof: LOL!
Post ds on your blog o
Ginger: if a man proposes to me online it is binding
Prof: Really?
Ginger: yes ke
even though i will yab him for the rest of our marital life
Prof: I'd have to chew that. Never thot of it b4. U might be right
Ginger: okay that’s a no then.
No probs
Prof: Afterall, we spend 70% of our lives these days online
I was talking about eschewing the online mode not d proposal itself
The answer is yes
Ginger: Sorry
I've moved on
Prof: Laughssssssssssssssssssss
Ginger: Ewu meeee
Prof: U just smashed my heart!
Ginger: akuko
Prof: Nonsense
Ginger: see, if you were in the spirit
you would have said yes before all that pre-meditation
Prof: Oh, I am not a spirit
We should run the application again
Ginger: dream on, dream away…
Ginger: so why dont you want a woman to propose? And I have got other questions..
Prof: LOL!
Ginger: does he still get her a ring?
Ginger: who asks for whose hand in marriage with the parents? Who pays dowry?
Prof: Now, proposing in d 1st place by d woman was to find out sth
‘If d guy is ready to be with her for life’
Just like it serves that same purpose when the guy pops the question
In this case
Our man is a bit "unconventional" or shy or sth
Or maybe just waiting to be proposed to
U know d way babes wait
So, the girl pops the question
Prof: He says yes
Ginger: okay.
Prof: and then he wakes up
Ginger: lol
Prof: or he smiles and says, "I thot U were never gonna ask"
Ginger: lolsssssssssssssss
Prof: "What too U so long, baby?"
Ginger: I'll just clonk his head
Prof: Laughsssssssssssssss
Ginger: anu mpam
Prof: LOL!!!
Ginger: he is waiting for all my eggs to die ee kwa?
Prof: LOL
So he now says, Ok we need to call your parents/go to d village
Thanks for bringing me to this point
for understanding me
in my own unique way
Ginger: lol
Prof: and then everything continues as before
Ginger: I haven’t forgotten the first question though
Prof: Ring gets bought,
everything gets done the "conventional" way
Ginger: thanks for the enlightenment Prof
Ginger: Interestingly some real life proposals i read, played out just like you explained
Prof: A proposal= a question
Ginger: Yep
Various stories of women proposing
and they said their men still proposed in their own time in the end
Prof: U see?
Ginger: So maybe women proposing is just not taken as seriously by the man
maybe it hastens things a tad bit..but everything is still at his own timing
Prof: I’m back. Checked out the link. got engrossed. Wow!
Ginger: I know. Yay to the ladies.
Ginger: Here’s another interesting link
Prof: I do agree with your last statement. It's sad isn't it, the way men get to dictate the pace of everything? 


  1. LOL wow...I still maintain me I no fit oh.I want my own Nollywood or Hollywood or Japanwood porposal story.I just wont get past the fact that uncle didnt desire me enough to ask..just saying

    1. I concur UGold. I want my own 'How your daddy proposed story' to tell my kids ;)

  2. First question, who is Prof?

    Second, do you realize he/she said yes?

    Finally, you are both hilarious! LWKMD...

    Nw let me go check those links.

    1. Prof keeps showing up in my blog posts :). I don't know what to make of him. After 'the chat proposal' I also offered him the position of 'Maid of honor'. He is a bit confused right now.

      lol. I find us funny too. We do have interesting chats.

  3. You guys are funny. But really, at the end of the day "dropping hints" is the same thing as asking him to marry you...its just different words. If our excuse for not wanting to propose is the idea that if the man wants you, he'll ask on his own (which i wholeheartedly believe btw)...then technically you shouldn't even want to drop hints.

    #Gbam @ men dictating the pace of the relationship. I've been saying this for years but nobody believes me lol

    1. Lady Ngo re-echoing the #gbam!! I think women get manipulative and drop hints when they aren't sure where the relationship is going. Its not always a bad thing cause it gets the conversation going towards that topic. and it also gives both parties an idea of how the other party is enamoured with the idea of marriage.

  4. LMAO..I am asking the same questions as Myne... Who is Prof?! Ginger!!! U are keeping man secret, ba?! Issorai!
    As for proposal or not i dont know o! But it doesnt sound like something I will do
    And I dont necessarily agree that dropping hints is same as proposing.

  5. I'll be totally honest. I would never ask a man to marry me. I don't see any reason why it should be one sex or the other to do the asking, personally. I just wouldn't do it because I'm a coward! That's a big brave emotional risk, and I've never envied men having the traditional role of the one supposed to do the asking!

    1. Tatty I totally agree. I do admire the women who put themselves out there. It is such a brave thing to do.

  6. I know all these are based on theory and you are not being practical. I'm not yet 25 and I've had girls ask me out. From that experience I know what to expect from older girls who want to marry.

    1. lol. A girl is allowed to be unpractical once in a while joo. You've got girls toasting you huh? way to go!

  7. Interesting conversation. Funny PoV
    I still want to be chased and proposed to. Makes me feel worth fighting for

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Adura. Come on. Women are not manipulative. we just know how to use our weak status to get the stronger men to do well by us. I call it wisdom ;)

  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. And that is probably a man who doesn't care as much for her. Cause if he does, he will want to reassure her that he is there. All there.

  10. Ginger, your conversation is hilarious.

    Now, seriously, sometimes a woman can say "Are we getting married or what?" and it's perfectly okay. Personally, I believe a man likes to "chase" a woman. The harder he has to work to get her, the more value he places on her. Old fashioned attitude, but it's true.

    1. Mom, that attitude never became old. Its a genetic thing they are hunters. I am happy to gather!

  11. Yes, yes, I read everything. But what I want to know is, WHO IS PROF?! DO I NEED TO BUY TICKET, EH?!

  12. lmao @ I'll just clonk his head. Ginger will not kill person. The truth, like most pple have said is, guy's like to be in control and they'll rather do the chasing.

    So, the call kwanu? how did it go? Abi you have not called him ni?

    1. Toinlicious! I thought you knew me better :). After this public intro-manipulative-proposal, the ball is now in the man's court. he will need to bring me the tooth of a pregnant lioness, the egg of a piranha and the fang of a mamba before I will say 'Yes' in turn to him.

  13. hey there, Just nominated you for the versatile blogger award. for more info, visit

  14. *

  15. Replies
    1. lol.I have chosen to be selectively blind/deaf/dumb to that response.

  16. Will definitely not be proposing to any man. Like Linda said men value what they work for.



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