I’ve always been of the view that I WILL NOT STAND in love’s way if my ex-boyfriend and my girlfriend/best friend hit it off. That it didn’t work out with us doesn’t mean it can’t work out with her right?
There are a few conditions though:
- He mustn’t be an ex that treated me badly or hurt me cos I’ll either be over-protective of my girl thinking he might break her heart too or it might hurt me to see him treat her so sweet when he was a lowdown-dirty-scoundrel to me.
- They mustn’t have started dating when he and I were supposed to be an item – in other words, he mustn’t have cheated on me with her.
- To avoid all suspicion, the relationship should start at least 6 months post break up.
- One of them should at least have the courtesy to tell me before I hear it on the grapevine. Yeah awkward much but surely not earth shattering. Infact I should be told before the first date if the girl is truly a friend. E.g. She can say “hey, I met up with XYZ a week ago and we’ve been talking since. He asked me out to dinner tomorrow. You are not asking my permission, you are just informing me and giving me time to come to terms with this new status.
|Have you seen this movie? Great plot about friendship, betrayal and ambition|
My magnanimity has been tested and I can tell you freely, it wasn’t easy. There were some initial negative thoughts: Hurt (after everything I did for him, it’s ABC he wants), Suspicion (hope it wasn’t cause of her he broke off with me), Jealousy (I know she is prettier, richer, more wifely than me). Finally Truth makes an appearance.
You remember the real reasons you broke up – his farting, his immaturity and general incompatibility. You admit to yourself that he was really a nice guy but just not your type. He never made your skin tingle. Then you tell that part of your heart that keeps a tally of boyfriends to delete his file and remember his details no more.
You may even call him up and tease him mercilessly of how you are going to burn his cable with her.
Quite Easily Done.
So it was with great shock that I read this post on Temiville’s blog (Musings of a Caramel Latte Addict) where a lady seduced her friend’s boyfriend of two years and had the added temerity to not only justify her actions by saying her friend was slow, she asked same friend to be her chief bridesmaid for old times sake!
Girlfriend just broke all my rules listed above!! And I am a most generous girlfriend.
I don’t have issues with them ‘falling in love and deciding to wed’. I honestly don’t think in her heart of hearts the first gf wanted him. Moreover if he could be that easily seduced then I prefer to say good riddance. It was the cheating, the opportunism, the secrecy and pretence that got my goat.
I will just delete their numbers from my contact list, facebook, bb forever and ever. Who needs friends like these really?
Come to think of it there are a few other unwritten girlfriend codes directed by love and commonsense, but alas those two are scarce commodities innit?
- If you meet my man somewhere and both of you actually stop to exchange niceties – make sure you tell me asap, i.e. the next time we talk or chat, not 3months down the line, when something crops up and you'll say, “I remember what happened that day we met at Lekki” and I have to ask ‘What, how, when”. Suspicious much.
- If you want a business date with my husband, maybe you are a banker and you want to wheedle him for deposits for your bank, common sense demands that you inform me girlfriend! I might even be nice and tell you the right time to ambush him or I might give him a ‘lil somethin’ the night before to sweeten him up. But don’t just call him and arrange a meeting business or otherwise without passing it through me, Mrs Wife/Ms Girlfriend. If by chance #2 happens – maybe you were at Zenith bank Head office and they were giving you a hard time, then you had an epiphany ‘let me call Ginger’s husband to help me out, #1 applies once again.
- If we have issues, we settle it between us girls; unless I have vowed to take your case up at Okija shrine, then you have good reason to be alarmed. But if we are quarrelling over asoebi, jewelry, bags of rice and you carry our petty quarrel over to my hubby to make me look bad or in a spirit of camaraderie, you tell him about my drunken days as an undergrad when I have told him I was a Deeper Life member. Hmmm, your days are numbered.
- You really don’t need to have my boo’s phone number do you? Oh well, I understand I might go missing and you get worried or you see my 5 yr old smoking on the street and you feel alarmed enough to call one of us, ok then. But not that you call my hubby at whim to say oh, long time I have missed you..o__0 but why?? or send him a text anytime after 8pm or buy him a birthday present more expensive than what I got for him etc. mind yaself o.
- There’s an exception though: On this one occasion you are allowed to call my boo without my knowledge and as many times as you want – You catch him leaving room 234 of Sheraton Hotel with a woman who does not look like me. Kindly steal his number from my phonebook if you don’t already have it, call him, text him (I know what you did last Thursday type) threaten him and make him swear by his unborn children that thunder will strike his dingalong the next time he cheats on me. And like the best friend you are, please don’t let me know.
- On the other hand. I am actually undecided. To know or not to know?
So people what do you think and just wondering, do these rules apply to guys?