Monday, August 27, 2012

By their Questions You shall know Them

My people,
How are you are? I am good!! Had a looong restful weekend thank you very much. Even went to the Notting Hill Carnival in London. Pictures coming up.
Cherrychatter, Toinlicious, Lady Ngo and MsTizzle, Biko Dalu for tagging me in the Elevenses. 
I'm sorry it took me so long to get round to answering your questions. Better late than never right??

Cherrychatter, Talk Radio Host – Love and Other Drugs
What is the one thing that frightens you the most? Dying without achieving all the things on my bucket list.
What song would you describe as your ‘theme song’ ie a song that best describes you or how you feel about yourself or certain issues? Video by Indie Arie. Listen to it here

Kim Kardashian,  the entire Jersey shore cast ( if they were formed into one body with a medusa head of all the cast members) and Nene Leakes; if you had one bullet, who would you shoot? pls include the Geordie Shore cast...smh. Could i line up the heads and shoot them all ala Angelina Jolie in Wanted? 
What was the last most outrageous purchase you made? This pair of sandals. Cost only 5Euros but my feet feel like a million dollars in them.
Is it best to have loved and lost or is it best to not love at all giving the possibility of heart break? Give reasons. Best to have loved even if you lose it. "It is the unalienable right of every human to experience love once in their lifetime" Ginger :)
Tattoos or piercings. Which do you prefer and why? Tattoos. They are artsy at least compared to making holes in my body
Who do you love the most, your brother or your boyfriend? (If married, replace with husband) See me see trouble! Which kin question be this? Filial and eros? Not comparable.  Can’t choose, sorry.
Is revenge ever justified? Give reasons. Yes, it eases the hurt and makes forgiving easier J. Also some people only learn by being taught a lesson. 
Is religion an important consideration in a relationship? Give reasons. Yes. It is important that a couple can pray as a unit for themselves and their family. I see my parents and I want that.
If you were president for a day, what is the first thing you would do? I’ll pull a Jerry Rawlings! Can I just call a meeting of all PDP politicians and lock them in and tell Nigerians to tell me what to do to them. Then pick a suggestion through random number generation. 
What is your first memory of being aware of/attracted to someone of the opposite sex? Hahaha. At my eldest sister’s wedding. My 7yr old self was quite appreciative of the page boys J. I thought they were the cutest boys I’d ever seen in their suits and all.

Toinlicious – Madame Ghandi – Vice President, Philosophers for a Better Earth
What’s the one question you would ask God if you could: Was gender inequality part of your grand plan for man?
What’s your most embarrassing moment: The Sunday my heel broke as I was catwalking to the altar to receive communion. I refused to turn back to my seat (devil is a liar) but I had to limp back in all my finery.
If you could change one thing in the world now what will it be: Ban Porn
If you could say one thing to the current pope what would it be: "His Holiness, I think you should have a rethink about contraception". Like seriously. Billings method in 2012?
What’s the one thing you wish you could ‘un-invent’ right now and why: Cigarettes. Its demerits are bigger than whatever warm feeling smokers claim it gives.
What’s the most terrifying moment of your life: The Waiting as our next door neighbors were robbed by over 10 armed men for over 3hrs. The gun shots, the shouting, we thought we’ll be next.. I remember my sister poured her red varnish on 2 sanitary towels and said we would pretend we were having our period to deter them from rape. Scary times!!
If you were to be recognized by posterity for one thing what would you like to be known for: Giving voice to the voiceless. 
What color best describes you? I am iridescent!
If you could commit one crime and wouldn't be caught, what crime would you commit: Plant a listening device in Obama’s bedroom. Yes I want to be a voyeur of PO-FLO-TUS conversations.  
If you had to name one lesson of love that took you longest to learn, what would it be and why: That the heart loves where it chooses and it may not always be right so you gotta let your head help you!!!
If you could be guaranteed one thing besides money, what would you want: A perfect family

LadyNgo's Questions –Senior Counsellor, Sex Addiction Center (you know you had that coming!!)

What's the last book you read? Room – Emma Donaghue
If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be? None. No matter how much i love a song i cant listen to it more than thrice in one sitting.
What countries have you visited other than that your country of birth? Just four – Ghana, UK, Netherlands, Germany
If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? Michelle Obama’s. FLOTUS, Lover and helpmate of the POTUS.
Why do you blog? Cause I love to share my thoughts. It still amazes me that people read it and like it. I also get to meet crazy wonderful people like you!
How old are you? What’s in it for you? Flashing eyes? 
What is your favorite body part on the opposite sex? Shoulders
When's the last time you had relations? Relations? Well, my darling Aunty Pat was in London three months ago. (Ask me a foolish question, get a foolish ans…
What's the craziest/silliest thing you've ever done? Stalk an Ex boyfriend.
What's your least favorite food? Lamb. I have tried to like it, but it remains the most tasteless meat I know! Sue me!
Do you have any pets? Sadly No. Can’t wait to have my own home and two dogs at least.
What's one thing you've been dying to tell me? Return to sender When was the last time you had sexual relations? * ^_^(tongue)

Mstizzle, Bestselling Self Help Author – A  Perfect Life 
A world without laughter or a world without music? Laughter can go. Music is multidimensional!!
What did you never taste, assumed you won’t like but eventually did? Humus. Love it best with carrot sticks
If you won 10,000 pounds tonight, what would you do with it? 10% Thanksgiving, 10% Holiday, 10% Savings, 40% Start off my business plan, 40% family/debts. Wait….that’s 120%. 

Who/what made you start blogging? Funny, I can’t remember. Solomon Sydelle? Going stir crazy from living alone in a 3 bedroom Lagos flat most of 2009?
What’s the first mobile phone you had? Lol. A Sendo. The ugliest y’hello-est littlest phone obtained as a Conference souvenir from MTN
What’s your idea of the perfect date? A great movie, Buffet meal preferably so my food pickiness won’t be apparent (it’s a bit irritating to watch me make my order)
What’s the craziest thing you’ve done this year? Good girls don't do crazy (halo fixed firmly on).
What 2 quotes/words of wisdom have made the greatest impact on your life?  
a.  I Corinthians 13, 4-7
b. "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it s because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away" Thoreau
Fame or Fortune i.e broke celeb or rich? Since you put it that way (broke celeb, lol) gimme Fortune
What’s your love language? Quality time.
If fruits described us, what would you be? Pomegranate. I like the contradiction of hard, squishy, smooth, sweet and seedy.

Coming next: 11 randoms about me.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Nigerian Media and Irresponsible Rape Reporting

Just when I thought Nigerian journalists couldn’t sink lower. I saw this headline written by a Cyriacus Izuekwe on the Naija news room. It seems PM News and Punch also carried the sordid tale.
What the deuces is wrong with the society I come from? 
How can the media indirectly label an 11 year old a 'nympho'? What does an 11 year old know about sex? Is that the issue at stake here?

I think not. 

The issue at stake is that an adult man of 20 years who has his option of peers, older women, even sex workers chose to have sex with an 11 yr old. Lets think back, at 11 yrs I was in primary 5. I was still reading books written by Enid Blyton. Playing ten ten. boyfriend was a bad word. Kissing was equated with hellfire. Sex? don't even think it.

This is why governments came up with laws to protect little children from themselves and from abusive adults like these. Of course she might have liked what was done to her. Sadly physiology and the psyche do not reach maturity at same time. She may also think that she likes sex because she associates it with gifts. The alleged abuser was probably showering her with biscuits and sweets to make her amenable. What child can't be bought with biscuits and sweets? My friends little girl endures all the pulls on her hair during hair making as long as she is holding candy. An 11 yr old can endure someone fiddling with her vagina for same.
Look at stories written by women abused as children. It always starts with the stinky Uncle/Father who gave gifts. They sit on  his laps gorging on the sweets while he has his wicked ways with them. Some kids become wise fast and raise the bar by asking for more expensive gifts. Does that mean they are colluders in their abuse? 
Be that as it may.. the important thing to note is that she is underage and not expected or likely to appreciate the FULL CONSEQUENCES of sexual activities - pregnancy, stds. Nor is her body biologically ready to bear the brunt of its consequences. 
That is why the onus lies on the older party To not sexually abuse her.

And that is why media houses reporting that an 11yr old said she enjoyed sex should be stopped, sued or made to pull such report off the web.
It is irresponsible and shames the child who is supposed to be the innocent party, as a slut. 
 I can already hear commenters who will read and say ‘ oh wicked generation', 'Children of nowadays are spoilt/bad etc, neglecting the part played by the adult who wilfully and criminally took advantage of a child.
Yes she said it but I will be surprised if a judge allows that as evidence of consensual sex in court. 
All I am saying is that the news serves no purpose and its high time media houses are taken to task on their reportage of cases of sexual harassment/sexual abuse.
Just like in the Absu rape case where the victim's blurry face photo was paraded even more than that of the rapists. 
Or recently on Bella Naija, news about teenage Chinese prostitutes who were rescued from their slave'd think the faces of the leaders of the prostitution ring will be on parade not the teenagers
Or the 'disbelieving' tone of a report about a young man that was raped by 3 women somewhere in the North.
or three years ago when a strip club was raided in Ikeja/Lekki and the pictures of the naked girls were plastered all over the papers while the club owner and patrons of the club were protected.

Victims should be protected not the perpetrators please. Especially underage victims. The litmus test for an article should always be...What is the purpose of this article? Who does it benefit? What reaction do I hope to elicit? Does it protect human dignity?
Would I write this if the victim was my son/daughter/brother/sister/wife?


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