Monday, February 18, 2013

Dame Patience is Resurrected!

To say I haven’t missed this woman is not an exaggeration. I didn’t wish her sickness but I was happy to have her out of the public arena for a while. Sigh

It seems that period is over. She is back. Bigger and badder!

It started with rumours/reports of midnight flight/s in an air ambulance to Germany, of uterine fibroids, exarcebated by Parkinson’s disease. Others said uterine cancer. Some tummy-tuck. 

What did The Presidential Ogene Reuben Abati say 'Liar, Liar! Detractors. Haters stop lying.

What did the First Lady say
“I don’t even know that hospital they are talking about…”.  “I do not have any terminal illness or cosmetic surgery.”  
Trying to understand why they are all gazing at this picture.

"My Husband loves me just the way I am" (I guess that's in answer to the tummy tuck rumours).

All literally true granted...her illness might not necessarily be a cosmetic one or terminal. My grouse then was...what was it? What is soo wrong in telling your citizens your ailment? Especially one which has been so controversial? Especially when it is costing the nation money flying you out in air ambulances etc. 
What is this unmentionable disease that you cant bear for your millions of fans and well wishers to know about?

Now here we are 5 months after, throwing a lavish party on your 'Soonest Recover' (as our dear Shina Peters wished a colleague some decades back).

I read the SR article about three times to glean the name of this medical condition which according to our dearest First Lady Patience Jonathan involved her undergoing 9  successive Surgeries In One Month!
  “I actually died,” Premium Times quoted her as testifying.  “I passed out for more than a     week. My intestine and tummy were opened.”
 “It was God himself in His infinite mercy that said I will return to Nigeria. God woke me up after seven days.”

Alleluia!!She is risen!!

According to SR, this 'Resurrection party' cost Aso Rock coffers some N500M to host 5000 guests. (I'll take that with a pinch of salt and maggi) but then again, we know our Presidency  doesnt joke with his food and drink. They must have eaten caviar and gold plated fufu balls.
(Now if only my dear 9ja Foodie had gotten the catering contract...I would have shut my mouth up small) Pray, I ask, was this party foreseen and included in that 1billion dollar food budget or is it an additional expense? You know, matters arising?

In addition, donations from friend and lovers of the presidency amounting to N500M will be presented to the 1st Lady as 'Easter Gift'. 

Words fail me.

Why doesnt it surprise me that the presidential gift organising committee is chaired by a Mr. John Kennedy Okpara (why do we always find my Igbo men in such 'funny' positions??)

Of the future, she said, “I will be doing things that will touch the lives of the less privileged. God gave me a second chance because I reached there. He knew I had not completed the assignments He gave me that was why I was sent back.”

Oh how my religiously zealous compatriots will lap this up. With a N500M gift awaiting me, I might ask God to send me back to earth too.

I am glad she is well and recovered. I'm glad we are celebrating not mourning. 
I m just angry at the way the presidency keeps rubbing our faces in the sh#t of their unbridled lavishness. Always saying untruths and doing things in a way that leaves more questions than answers at least for enquiring normal citizens.

And when I read comments like this one below..I want to give up. Atilola. I’m holding on to that your hope, but the rope wears thin.

 "There's nothing wrong in the first lady having a thanksgiving. She believes her being alive today was because God spared her life and think it's wise to thank Him. So whats the big deal? The resources we're talking about here came from her backyard. Naijas should be grateful for having the SE/SS region whose resources has been spoon feeding them for over 52years. They shouldn't take kindness for stupidity. What's 500m naira compared to a life spared after many surgeries. How much is N500m compared to the 16B USD the ota baboon stole or the 12B USD IBB embezzled while in office or is it the USD4.6B that was never accounted for when Mullah Buhari was the Boss at PTDF. Haba! Naijas should be happy for the 1st lady and join her in thanking God. When you talk of naija being a family, you also talk of the SS being the breadwinner. GEJ and the 1st lady are from the 'breadwinners' region of naija and should be treated as such. Hate them and hate their oil & gas too!"

I still need answers...What is the Nigerian First Lady recovering from? Why all the secrecy?


  1. LOL @ Alleluia!!She is risen!!

    I'm happy she's alive. I just wish that the party money would have gone to creating good healthcare options for other Nigerians.

  2. Shebi she wasn't ill, why are we now hearing testimony of resurrection. When will our leaders stop insulting our sensibilities.....they won't build hospitals, they won't build school but they can spend money hosting privileged few for thanksgiving there any hungry person in that gathering and she says she wants to start affecting lives.

    Thank God she is risen

  3. I blogged about this too, my heart groweth ever more heavy. Sometimes I wonder, why do we even bother?

  4. It's a miracle!!! *rolling my eyes* I used to be one of those annoyingly optimistic people people bt my voltron skills are dying limb by limb. Nigeria we hail thee

  5. Sometimes, I think the Nigerian government acts the way they do because they know they can and no one is going to hold them accountable. I join you to also wonder at the people looking at the picture, or is there something going on there that we cannot see?

  6. Please, who made that comment?? The one that was quoted at the bottom. Please tell me. I'm at a loss for words. Like really and truly I'm just weak. Are you freaking kidding me. I didn't even know 500m was spent on that thanksgiving. I've been in a bubble for a while but what is all this? I'm just angry. That question you asked about the dinner being foreseen. I'm asking the same thing as well. Where did that 500m come out from? Is there a well somewhere, a reserve well, a well-for-whatever-we-deem-fit because I'm confused. Even the lavishness of the government on the super eagles annoyed me. A lot of people disagree with me on that one though but Im still asking, where did that money come out from?

    Honestly we don't have a say in this country. It's every man for himself. Enugu state governor too travelled and came back. I would really like to know the total cost of that trip, hospital bills, air travel, any other travel, family and friends he flew over to stay with him, hotel bills or if it's his house (if he has a house there) the cost of the house. Then I would like to know WHERE that money came from.

    South-south is the breadwinner of Nigeria... I'm VERY angry.

  7. South-south is the breadwinner ke, abeg is bayelsa the majority oil contributor of that region...this nation will never move forward unless we get rid of our tribal sentiment. As for madam, we thank God for her life

  8. Lol Ginger. We know it is not easy na, that is why we are holding on to hope. If Nigeria were good, there won't be need to hope na, cos everything would just be rolling smoothly. That is why it is called 'hope'.

  9. Some naija comments just make pesin wan slap someone deaf.

    So Dame P. wants her own ajinde (good Friday) and easter sunday, abi? Shey if she'd told us when she was on her way back to Naija, we would have lined the jet with palm fronds. The BUJ would have been well lined too. We're talking every inch of the city. Then we'll decorate with rose petals to cushion her pretty feet everywhere she steps.

    Dame P. Easter celebration will commence the following week starting with:

    -'Dame P. Good Friday (God sent me back) Special

    -'Nigeria needs me' Saturday

    -'Touch the edge of my shoe to get your own miracle' Sunday

    -'You have seen nothing yet: Your 'blessings' for my 500 million windfall' Monday.

    Er...what day did she have that party? Only one day to celebrate such a miracle? You've got to be kidding me!

  10. In other countries, when such a 'miracle' happens, the 'wouldhavebeendead' person raises an awareness of the diseases, and if they are as rich and as influential as madam pashe, they would have set up medical facilities including after care services for those who suffer from that disease but cant afford quality health care. But no be dame pashe? she is good for two things, one is sending her lackeys to shop for contracts with her fake companies the other is for -->

  11. Don't mind them. Foolish things. This is the same country that was led by a dead president for 76 days.

  12. That is why it is called 'hope'.this nation will never move forward unless we get rid of our tribal sentiment.



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