Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Lastly on Male Rape - Arousal is not Consent

Hi Blog family,

Thank you for your comments on the post “Can Men Claim Rape?”. I apologise for its length and legalese which made it unreadable - don’t judge me for trying to educate you and I.

So with less legal jargon, let me reiterate, Men cannot claim RAPE in Nigeria. 

And why is this important? Cause it affects the weight placed on sentences and court judgments. According to Nigerian laws, Rape can incur life imprisonment but a Sexual Assault or Sodomy charge? Less. Much less.

A real life situation is the case of former Army Major Bello Magaji (a polygamist with 2 wives and 7 children, and according to him, 3 girl friends also) who until recently was serving a 5yr sentence for sodomy against 4 Teenage boys he had deliberately intoxicated before the act. 


Here is a link to the court proceedings in 2008 and you can see the waffling around the terminologies “sex/penetration/carnal knowledge”. The conclusion was that he had committed Sodomy - an act that was an aberration to nature. But Sodomy neither takes into consideration, the non-consensual nature of his act, nor the mental distress of the victims. 
If we had clear and adequate legal definitions there would have been no need for waffling and he would have gotten more than 5 yrs. 

As if that short sentence was not bad enough, this lovely virtue of public morality was one of those who received pardon from my dearest President a week ago. The guy has goodluck..what can I say!

Lily Johnson made a comment about men *sexually assaulted* by women. Many people have doubts that sex can happen without a man’s consent. 
Truth is, even if there was an erection/arousal, it doesn’t mean he was willing. The movie Disclosure (starring Demi Moore and Michael Douglas) adapted from same named book by Michael Crichton is a classic on that theme.
Former girlfriend and present bosslady makes strong advances on her Ex-but now married -boyfriend and subordinate. Former passions are ignited. Kisses are exchanged, intimate touches, grinds even as Guy says ‘No, Stop, I am married”. She tries to unbuckle belt, he begs no. She still goes ahead. 

Yes, guy is turned on but he also keeps saying "NO". Loudly. In fact he says it 22 times. What part of no didn’t she understand? As it was proven in court, "Arousal is not consent!"

**There is no legal recognition of a non consensual sexual act by a woman on a man as rape. A male victim can only claim sexual assault. 

Why? Cause the woman has no penis :) Read former post here.

Now if she rammed an object up his anus..forgive the language..then he can claim rape in America or assault by penetration in other countries.

Side note: I am so happy to know that the penis has such liability. Men, if you don’t like it, kindly cut of your penis and get a vagina. We can dash you ovaries for free. Thank you.

Jokes aside, I loved this awesome excerpt on yesmeansyes blog. Share with your male folks.

I am not my body, and I am not my penis, and my penis does not make my decisions for me. I do not consent to cheat on my wife because a woman I see in my professional life also makes my penis hard; I am not my penis. I make the decisions and I am responsible for them. A boy does not become complicit in his molestation because an older abuser (female/male) can make his penis erect or cause orgasm. A man who sets a limit with a partner is entitled to set that limit, even if we don’t agree with his reasons, and he does not lose that right if he has a penis that wants different things from what he wants; Because...he is not his penis!

Anyway, I just wanted to touch on male rape cause men do matter but I won’t harp on it like I do for womenfolk. Men rule in Nigeria so if it is of concern to you, push for the change. We women have plenty on our plates.

Do I sound sexist? Yeah, sue me.


  1. Quite an eye opening post, especially the magaji guy. And pardon gone awry. I remember the Disclosure movie, quite instructive too.

  2. I heard about the Bello Magaji case and i just wondered again at our hypocrisy in this country

  3. meanwhile someone was sentenced to 45 years in prison for stealing a phone. mscheeeeeewwwwww



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