Wednesday, May 15, 2013

2012's Man of the Year - Christian Grey

You don’t agree?

60million people bought the book. And I’m sure more can remember what his second initial stands for (C.T. Grey) but not Obama’s (hint: it stats with H).
I read, sneered and commented with derision on forums discussing the book. My learned self could not be tempted to read such unliterary ero-offensive offerings.
Well, I swallow my words. I came across an epub version of the trilogy and thought, why not confirm for yourself why this book was such a hit.

So I read it and I understand.

First off. I think most people have it wrong. It wasn’t the sex. I personally didn’t find it erotic …….. and I really tried to. Lol.
I think what EL James’ book captured perfectly was the fairytale unrealistic yearning in women to be ‘The special one whose love changes a man’. 
I call it unrealistic cause 9 times out of 10, people will only change cause of their own conviction that it is advantageous to them. Christian Grey being a handsome, ‘very generous’ rich man was an added plus.

So what did I think of Fifty Shades of Grey? I loved it.

About criticism of EL James writing style: I think her writing style was satisfactory. The book wasn’t aiming for literary genius. It was a contemporary romance novel. I personally think that Ana’s voice was perfect for the subject matter. The author got it down to a pat – Ana’s innocence, humor, confusion, shone through. The reader could easily be Ana – in love and lust with a beautiful man, overawed by his wealth and power and by the strangeness of his sexual needs (BDSM isn't most people's cup of tea).

I loved the humor and laughed out loud plenty at, ‘the antics of Ana’s inner goddess, the witty email exchanges between her and Mr Grey that showed readers a side of him that made us hope like Ana that he could become Mr. Romance and Flowers, the witty references to popular media (You and Mrs. Jones, CEO with friends in the right places, Music - Britney Spears Toxic).

I think my most touching scene was the 1st time he acts out the Dominant and wallops her buttocks. 18 fricking times! All because she rolled her eyes at him.
I could appreciate why she didn’t break down and cry while he was there. Why she forgot to say the safe word in her bid to please him. Why she broke down after he left. And that niggling feeling of debasement.

I roll my eyes a lot at DBF. And sometimes when he says "that’s rude", I stick my tongue out for good measure. I can’t imagine him turning around to smack me for that. I who was not flogged by my parents, or worse – expect me to be turned on. Mba nu!
I do appreciate that there are a number of people out there who get turned on by some sort of pain consensually. Shrug. EL Jones tried her best to make us appreciate or understand the rules they live by. Safe words are real and essential to prevent excesses and to that extent the submissive has control. And while some feminists argue that Ana was abused, I disagree. It was her free will at all times.

Book 1 was delicious but ended inconclusively so I hurried on to Book 2.
By Chapter 5, I was done and getting bored by 50 shades Darker. The constant sex which wasn’t exactly making me purr was now decidedly turning me Off. Haba! Biologically and physically unless both of them were on a meal of Viagra it was not possible to be at it all the time.
By Chapter 7, I was flipping pages and constantly rolling my eyes (Sorry Mr. Grey) and my 50 shades of patience was running out at the constant angst and bickering.
So I moved on to Book 3. Sigh.  
Confession: I flipped through the last 90 pages of the 551 page book just to confirm that they lived blipingly happy ever after.
Mission accomplished.

I heard there are plans for a movie (my honest opinion – its gonna flop!!!) I thought of actors who could embody Grey’s blonde sultriness. Matt Bomer is my favourite.

Please, please if Kirsten Stewart is picked to play Anastasia I will. I will. I will…..flog somebody.

 When I told DBF I was reading 50 shades, he said, "Oh, I have something in common with Christian Grey".
Me (happily): “What”? ($100, 000 per day income on my mind)
DBF: “We have same waist size”.

*Roll eyes*  

Thankfully I'm not getting spanked for that.


  1. LOL. Where do I start. By far your funniest post. So cheeky (pun intended). So your 50 shades of patience did not run out when you enjoyed the first spank scene abi? Look at you! Haven't read the book - might do one of these days. Just thinking like you...that one sound of a spank - *twack!* might sound just like another. Not sure I've even got 5 shades of patience for that! But maybe with scenes 'embellished' a little bit each time and she cries loudly in one and purrs in another and pours hot water (read piss) in his face after those 18 strokes...I might stretch to 20 shades...of patience.

    Now go sleep, Adura Ojo - Naijalines.

  2. I've asked someone to send me the e-copy now let me read.

    I've been dodging it cos of what I heard the content of the book is like... but If Ginger can read it, who am I? *winks*

  3. Lmaoo@dbf. I think i like Ian though. The smokey eyes do it for me :)

    I really should get to those books asap so i can see what all the fuss is about. I borrowed a friend who reacted almost same as you.

  4. Nice Anon: *Coughs* Who is DBF?

  5. I read the 3 books in 2 days, and recently re-read them again. Like you, the sex and BDSM didn't do it for me, but instead the back-story, of a Plain Jane been the object of affection of this rich, beautiful, damaged man was the appeal. Everytime I'm forced to explain why I like the book, I just say its a redemption story, we were all rooting for Ana's love to change Mr. Grey, "simple and short" as our people will say. As an amateur shrink myself, I found the book to be very interesting. Probably re-read it in 6 months time, lol

    PS: I want Matt Bomer to play Grey> Yes he's gay, but he sp embodies what that character entails. And it would mean he's a good actor if he can make viewers believe he obsessively loves and wants Ana like a straight man would :)

  6. LOL! Now you make me feel like reading all 3 again. @ DBF and the same waist size, too cute!!! I won't lie, the writing was not fantastic and word of mouth definitely helped the writer cos the only intriguing thing was the BDSM factor. An ordinary girl getting caught up in a rich man's world has been written and re-written.

    I guess when it's your time, it's your time. Reminds me of the movie Jenifa. I thought it was funny but I've seen funnier.

    I'm going off point abi? Lol. Looking forward to the movie.

  7. You didn't find it erotic? lol
    Good luck in your new city...and DBF uhmmm, i want to know more about him o *huge grin*

  8. I tried. I really tried to read the books but it got tedious.

  9. Madam you don dey get spams oh.
    I have not read this book and I guess I was turned off by the whole erotic story to it. I guess someday, I will get to read it.

    Congrats on the move to a new city...DBF gist, biko do not leave us hanging.

  10. The book was simply bad. It was like "Secretary" without the acting chops of Maggie Gyllenhaal. So, Jake?



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