Thursday, May 23, 2013

Letter to a Young Wife, From An Old - Chuma Nwokolo


Thou art a young wife, so I shall open all my mouth. On that first day that his adultery comes to light, the whole world is right behind you, so let the force of your fury be known. Be natural, let it all hang out. The plates, the framed photographs of your wedding, his suits even, these are the legitimate, the expected casualties of his embarrassing sex. 
Noise the scandal to whom you may, what more do you have to hide? You heard it on the bus, did you not, between Onipanu and Maryland? The yellow girl with the housegirl hairstyle boasting of how much she got off the paddy with the potbelly who drives the green Cressida at Cement Busstop? Tell your friends, the groundnut hawker, his own friends even. Let the world feel the pain of his betrayal of you. Pain shared = pain halved, and all that.
On the second day you are still feeling bad, as is to be expected. It is a four-year-old marriage, is it not? One daughter, two London holidays, and a house already growing in the village? Fine, rage some more. Take the excuse of every word he says to dump on him. He deserves it, does he not? A man wants to stray and it is that ugly housegirl-type that his hands can reach. 
You could smell her from halfway down the bus, couldn’t you? And she fought like a wildcat too, practically stripped you naked during the fight at the Maryland bus park, didn’t she? Well let him have it then. Let your eyes flash and glint through all his apologies, break his I’msosorry champagne in front of him. Every fifteen minutes or so, hiss ominously. And if he so much as sets an apologetically seductive hand on you… well I don’t have to tell you what to do about that.
But this is the third day and you are not yet five years at this, are you? Fine, let me open all my mouth. You will notice from the party we threw last month that this is my fiftieth-year-anniversary – and my husband still holds my hand during our evening strolls. 
On the third day, my young, inexperienced sister, the world is not Click here to continue reading

Do we agree with Grandma? 

Mr.Chuma Nwokolo is a writer and advocate. His writings can be found here

9 comments:

  1. I sure to agree with Grandma...well written and I love the sarcasm.

    'Lara

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  2. Lmaooo. That piece is hilarious. I don't know if i agree all the way though. 3days ke? And if i've been totally faithful with no Johnson nko?

    Gospel: It is madness to spend your emotional energy on other men. Where’s the pay off? Pour everything into your husband!

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  3. Amazing! I was never of the school of thought that you should leave a cheating man but for a long time I thought the answer was to be calm and respond calmly but now I think all that pent up rage might be suppressed now but might show forth at a bad time.

    So maybe grandma is right... maybe scream at the top of your lungs for the first two days (Whether you choose to do it to him or alone, is up to you I guess) and then get set sorting your life. Because if you truly love him then you'll make it work

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  4. Well written and tongue in cheek as it is, I think it feeds to sexist and prescriptive stereotypes.

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  5. Entertaining article, with a lot of ironical humor and an underlying lesson.

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  6. Saw this the other day...totally loved it for its humor laced with a BIT of truth.

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  7. FYA darling, 'spammers' are at it again! Please delete those senseless anonymous comments. Anyway, I am an advocate of communication and I am very expressive. Immediately I sense any cheating, I ask questions settle it right away.
    Personal Blogger
    http://www.frediliadtruthuncensored.com/

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  8. i thought the write up was absolutely hilarious, i mean my imagination was running wild....but it was too stereotyped for my liking, plus i belong to the school of thought that believes that one should not let adultery go with a slap on the wrist.. the offender will do it again easily.....by all means forgive and mend the relationship, but only after you have raised all the hell you can and called the offending party to order by whatever means necessary, or the marriage will become a viscous circle of adultery, confession and forgiveness.. no thanks!

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